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Old March 31st, 2010, 07:30 AM
dendah dendah is offline
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Betrayed by friends (couple)

Hi
We had this couple that we've been friends with for 2 years since we came to this new city. We visit each other and have get togethers now and again. The husband is kinda difficult but I've given my time to understand him and accept him the way he is. We go to same church. Now I had rumours that I was not happy about, about me in church and I suspected they might be involved since they are very close to the Pastor. I texted the wife, she didn't respond respond then we went with my hubby to their house so we may ask them if they know anything. They denied especially the wife, the husband was not clear, but advised us not to confront the Pastor! We took their advice as the people who have been in that church and decided to continue with our friendship. After 2 weeks, we heard the rumours has started again and the Pastor has told people that we confronted that family (our friends) instead of coming to him. The next day my hubby went to the Ps and he confirmed our friend (husband) have been betraying us. Taking our every move to the Ps even non true things. Now I am very angry with them. The wife is indirectly involved as every deep little secret I was sharing with her, she will share with her husband and he will take it to the Ps. It's been 2 weeks, the wife is calling me, texting me and e-mailing me. I can let myself to speak to her. They betrayed us! I am not sure if she is fishing, how are we, so they can tell the Ps. I don't need to her in my life anymore and not ready to confront her yet since every word I say will be gone hence I'm ignoring her calls. I am naturally a very confrontational person and fail to pretend if I am hurt! I doesn't feel right to ignore her calls but at the same time. My hubby as instructed me not to say anything to them until we have sorted this whole thing with the Ps. Am I justified by ignoring her?? I wish I was able to pretend as if there is nothing like other people but I can't!
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Old March 31st, 2010, 07:44 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Betrayed by friends (couple)

First, I would say you should find a new church. A Pastor who gets involved in gossip is not a trustworthy pastor.

Second, I would not bother speaking to that other couple, either. People who would make up malicious gossip are not trustworthy friends. More than that, they've damaged your reputation and, regardless of what you say or do, there will always be people who will believe the gossip.

You are absolutely justified in ignoring her. In face, you should never have another private conversation with her again. If you see her in public, be coldly polite and walk away.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
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Old March 31st, 2010, 08:15 AM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Betrayed by friends (couple)



dendah, I'm so sorry. This is such an awful situation. That Pastor hardly sounds like a spiritual leader I'd want to follow. Can you find a new church? I wouldn't even bother sorting it out. I'd just GO.
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Old April 6th, 2010, 01:42 AM
dendah dendah is offline
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Re: Betrayed by friends (couple)

Hey ladies, thanks I feel much better now! I haven't been in that for like a month now!
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