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  #11  
Old September 10th, 2007, 08:39 AM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

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Originally Posted by Virginiann View Post
My son has very good insurance and he did check into a rehab. I will get to that part of the story tomorrow.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and thoughts... I really do appreciate it.

V.
Oh honey, I am so sorry. This is definitely a parental nightmare. I am glad he went to rehab but unfortunately, you still have a very long road ahead you. You are in my thoughts and please keep us updated.
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  #12  
Old September 10th, 2007, 04:16 PM
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My son, my youngest, my baby...Part III

Part III

My son finally admitted himself to a good detox center locally at 4:00 p.m. I went to my first FA (Family Anonymous) meeting Thursday night and I drove past the place and saw his vehicle parked there, so that was good. On my way home from there I looked again and the truck was still there.

It is always comforting to know that you are not alone in crisis like this. These people (FA) were so open and honest and extremely supportive. I have never met anyone like this. The whole thing is not to judge, not to give advice and to only offer your experiences.

Friday night at 6:00 the front door opens and it was him. I was so shocked, the whole time he told me his complaints about the place, he was cold, he was claustrophobic in that room, and they only let him out once an hour, no windows in the room. He couldn't remember my phone number and they wouldn't let him have his phone to get the number, the list went on and on. He said "don't look at me like that, mom I tried, I really tried". He kept saying, "If I could just get a Rx for the Suboxone, I know I could do this at home". He broke down again and all I could do was hold him and cry with him and let him know he was not alone and we can fix this. (A phrase us co-dependent please know oh so well).

Suboxone is a drug that they now use to detox from heroin. I had never heard of it. I just remember hearing about Methadone from movies and TV.

Up until this point I was really feeling guilty for taking a leave of absence because I have always thought it best to work though major stumbling blocks that life seems to put in our way. However it was my boss who insisted I take some time off and now I know that God was watching out for me and preparing the way that I would need these next few weeks.

I got busy and started reading everything I could on detoxing at home and I ended up at http://www.suboxone.com There is a list of doctors trained to administer the Suboxone as an outpatient. So I got on the phone (it is now Saturday morning) and called the whole list, I don't know how many maybe 20-25 doctors. I finally got a hold of one who could not see him until Tuesday (tomorrow) but she told me what to do and if I had any Vicoden and if I did to give him two every 4 hours and then none from 10pm Monday night on.

So he has been here and I have made sure he feels safe and I have watched him sweat, freeze, and twitch. I bring him Gatorade to keep him hydrated and give him his pain meds every 4 hours. It satisfies my co-dependent needs. I’m working real hard to give him space and not to question him. Man that is so hard when I have a million questions.

I have also attended an online FA meeting. It is very cool, it is in real time and they use a program called Ventrilo. You hear and speak just like if you were on a speaker phone. I don't know how I would cope if it weren't for all this support. I've never seen any of my children break down as I have seen my youngest these past days. He is becoming less and less irritable and more like him every day. Last night I even saw him smile and laugh for the first time in ages. We have been spending every waking moment together and getting along! I have hope but not blind hope. I know this can fall apart any second.

My son’s only big worry is his job. I told him that all should be fine I hope and the most important thing is to concentrate on getting well.

I seem to hold it all together as long as I stay at home. The few times I went to the store, something triggers in my brain and all I can think about is how I am the mother of a heroin addict. It's crazy and so surreal. I’ve never even know anyone who did more than pot. I was totally ignorant to any serious street drugs.

I am learning every day what it is to set boundaries and to recite the serenity prayer several times a day and to not beat myself up, that it isn’t my fault. All of that is easier said than done and unless you have gone though it you have no idea the hurt that goes with knowing I am the mother of a heroin addict.


I have been on the phone this morning and this afternoon trying to make sure his insurance covers this whole ordeal. One of those pills at a dose of 2mg is $325.00 the 8mg is $575.00. A 30 day supply of the 8mg totals $17,250.00 The first office visit is $500.00. Each visit there after is $75.00.


His insurance will pay 60% and the co-pay for the drug is $40.00. I can't tell you how much I have prayed that his insurance covers all this. It would pay 100% but this doctor (which by the way is a full blown psychiatrist. I didn't think anyone saw them anymore) is not 'in network' so he has to pay the 40%. He would have to go back to the detox center if his insurance didn't cover it.


Now here is a whole 'nother thing to think about. All those drug addicts that are just crawling the streets, we as a country are paying that much and more per person though our 'free' clinics and our taxes, every single day. But what the hell we all have the mentality that what ever people do behind their closed doors doesn't affect us.... but then that is a whole different thread...


Thanks for listening to me vent, cry and hope.

V.

Last edited by Virginiann; September 10th, 2007 at 04:24 PM.
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  #13  
Old September 10th, 2007, 04:29 PM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

V.,

I am so happy you found a support system you can count it. That has to be so important at this difficult time. I hope all goes well at the doctor tomorrow. Please know you are in my thoughts. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your son.
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  #14  
Old September 11th, 2007, 12:26 AM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

Please keep us updated.

(((Hugs)))
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  #15  
Old September 11th, 2007, 05:45 AM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

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I finally got a hold of one who could not see him until Tuesday (tomorrow) but she told me what to do and if I had any Vicoden and if I did to give him two every 4 hours and then none from 10pm Monday night on.
Please consider calling others on that list.

I don't know any good doctor who would ask an addict's mother if she's got V hanging around the house and then tell her to give the addict an unprescribed drug. Nope. I wouldn't trust her with my goldfish. That behavior supports a habit, not breaks it.
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  #16  
Old September 11th, 2007, 07:51 AM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

Yes, that may sound strange, however, detoxing from heroin is extremely painful and to prevent a relapse she knew he would need something to keep him off of the drug. Vicoden is an opiate, as is heroin. I know it sounds really crazy, but most often, it is suggested to the addict to continue using until 12 hours prior to the treatment. The treatment requires them to come in full withdrawal. I know, strange but true.

I am one of those types of people that runs to the library (in this case the Internet) to research anything that comes my way. I have learned so much about this illness. The more I learn the more I can cope.

My biggest discovery is that I am co-dependent and how to treat myself instead of treating my son.

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

Virginia
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  #17  
Old September 11th, 2007, 07:55 AM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

isnt heroin one of those drugs that can kill you if you go cold turkey? i need to research this as well, apparenly the school hasnt given DS1 any information at all on drugs, not even to tell him what they are called, just told him "drugs are bad mkay dont do em". So i had to tell him what to watch out for and show him what they looked like, i remember when i was a kid and they did the drug thing the police officer came with a little case with different drugs and paraphanalia displayed in plastic cases so we knew what to watch for.

apparently they dont do that anymore. :/
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  #18  
Old September 11th, 2007, 08:59 AM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

No they don't show them stuff anymore because of the 2 parents who don't want their little darlings to be affected negatively. Ya know like no more saying the pledge in school, and most recently no more playing tag - why - because whomever is "it" will feel singled out and it might lower their self esteem.

Virginia, I know people who have helped someone detox from heroin and never were they told to give them someone elses drugs. Also, I'm impressed with how much time you have to write on here during this trying time, the ones I know that did this were at the side of the addict 24/7 for almost 2 full weeks.
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  #19  
Old September 11th, 2007, 04:20 PM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

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Originally Posted by Pandsala View Post
isnt heroin one of those drugs that can kill you if you go cold turkey? :/
Sudden withdrawal by heavily dependent users who are in poor health is occasionally fatal, although heroin withdrawal is considered less dangerous than alcohol.

Mostly, it is the physical pain that is so bad.

The only thing that is so scary as a parent, is the only way I knew there was somthing going on was the fact that my son went though so much money each month with nothing to show for it. Not how he acted or how he looked. Please know that I am fairly street smart and I have dealt with Alcohol, and pot abuse between both my boys. However, this was something I could not 'see'. You just have to be aware of your child no matter what the age. Don't be afraid to 'snoop' and ask questions.

V.
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  #20  
Old September 11th, 2007, 04:27 PM
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Re: My son, my youngest, my baby...

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Virginia, I know people who have helped someone detox from heroin and never were they told to give them someone elses drugs. Also, I'm impressed with how much time you have to write on here during this trying time, the ones I know that did this were at the side of the addict 24/7 for almost 2 full weeks.
Funny you should say that, I have a laptop and it is on my lap while I sit in the living room on the couch. My son has been on the loveseat. We have been together 24/7 now since last Friday night.

Today he started his Suboxone treatment and already he is doing better. I will keep you all posted.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I keep saying that I can only hope that during all this we grow closer.

Virginia

Last edited by Virginiann; September 11th, 2007 at 04:34 PM.
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