Go Back   Friends and Family Forum > The Family Forum > All Grown Up

All Grown Up A place to discuss "adult" children.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old May 15th, 2014, 05:56 PM
Annsdil's Avatar
Annsdil Annsdil is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 2,163
Annsdil has a reputation beyond reputeAnnsdil has a reputation beyond reputeAnnsdil has a reputation beyond reputeAnnsdil has a reputation beyond reputeAnnsdil has a reputation beyond reputeAnnsdil has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Keep paying??

Maybe one solution is working out how much her education alone is costing you. I guess you would originally have roughly expected that you would pay similar to each of your kids.

If she has not yet exceeded that amount, give her the difference now and explain that it was for her education, but as her priorities have changed you are giving her the rest of the money now, but once it's gone it's gone and you won't be spending anything further on her education. If she doesn't want to do that then she will have to rethink her priorities. At least that way you can know that each child will have had a similar amount given and it also doesn't set the other children's expectations higher than you can meet.

But still being the mean mum I am, if I was faced with the same situation, I would be following my first suggestion!
__________________
******************
There’s one major problem with giving grandparents legal access to their grandchildren. People who inflicted verbal, physical and sexual abuse on their children are then given access to inflict trauma on yet another generation. ~ Wayne and Tamara
*******************
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old May 15th, 2014, 11:01 PM
GOSteno GOSteno is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 7
GOSteno is on a distinguished road
Re: Keep paying??

We considered doing that, but then she would just blow it on trips and other frivolous things. We could pay the school directly, but then if we're still supporting financially, we'll feel she needs to answer to us when spending frivolously. She doesn't want to answer to us, and we don't want to be taken advantage of. They want to be adults, but then they really don't. I think I agree with you and my first instinct.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old May 16th, 2014, 06:19 AM
snafu's Avatar
snafu snafu is offline
future crazy cat lady
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Mid-west
Posts: 10,470
snafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Keep paying??

I'd pay her tuition and that's it

if she blew the money on something else then she would have to face the consequences

but I agree with the others that said if she is expecting you to fund her life, she's not really ready to get married
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:42 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2007, The BlueSparks Network