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  #1  
Old April 30th, 2014, 04:07 PM
searain searain is offline
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Should I Be Upset?

Three generations of the females in my family get together 2-3x a year at a restaurant, usually an hours' drive for most of us. The first one this year DD went with me, with the plan to shop before (which we did) and shop afterward (which she cancelled so she could take her kids to a birthday party.)

The next female gathering is the day before Mother's day. We planned to go to a restaurant in a restored quaint town which also meant some fun shopping. Now she has cancelled because she is taking her kids to - wait for it - a birthday party! Two parties, in fact.

I understand she has a lot of friends who have kids, and her kids have a lot of friends. I just think previous engagements should be honored or she should have asked if I minded. (Which I obviously would have, but I would have said no anyway.) BTW - dad wouldn't take them so it is up to her.

So my question is - am I being too sensitive or is it reasonable to expect the dates to be kept as planned?

Thanks. It's a moot point now because the whole gathering was cancelled (which is a whole other story.)
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Old April 30th, 2014, 04:27 PM
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Annsdil Annsdil is offline
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Re: Should I Be Upset?

Maybe she feels as adults everyone is able to accept that her children's feelings are important and these birthday parties are events she doesn't want her kids to miss out on, particularly if they are excited to go.

Would you want to be the one to tell your grandchildren that they can't go to their friends birthdays because you want their mum to socialise with you, so they miss out on fun so you can have some?

Whilst I don't pander to my kids, if there was a birthday party happening that they really wanted to attend - that would trump my socialising. I can rearrange social engagements, they can't ask their friends to postpone birthdays! If it was an ALL family occasion - kids included, it may be a different matter.
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Old April 30th, 2014, 05:30 PM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Should I Be Upset?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annsdil View Post

Whilst I don't pander to my kids, if there was a birthday party happening that they really wanted to attend - that would trump my socialising. I can rearrange social engagements, they can't ask their friends to postpone birthdays! If it was an ALL family occasion - kids included, it may be a different matter.
I am the same way. Dining and shopping can really be arranged by adults any time. Children's birthday parties aren't as flexible.

It won't be long before the children are old enough to join the adult parties.
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Old April 30th, 2014, 08:20 PM
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Re: Should I Be Upset?

as your SIL won't take the kids, I wouldn't say a word to her about it, other than I'd miss her and when can we reschedule .... maybe even do something special with the grandkids


If she's already torn (and possibly POed at her DH) she'll probably appreciate not being made to feel guilty/even worse about not being able to make it.
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Old April 30th, 2014, 09:24 PM
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Re: Should I Be Upset?

Yes, what Snafu said. Hopefully you can find some fun thing to do anyway.
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Old May 3rd, 2014, 03:24 PM
searain searain is offline
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Re: Should I Be Upset?

Thanks everyone. I wouldn't expect her and my grands to miss a party. I just wanted her to mention it to me instead of telling me she was cancelling. I just needed to hear it from someone else.

Have a great weekend.
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