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Old November 22nd, 2007, 09:23 PM
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My feelings are sooo hurt

I helped my son and DIL at the church today. I was the only besides one friend, my son and DIL that helped set up for 125 people.

I have given money, time, and oh did I say MONEY?
I ran and picked up food, and oh last minute they needed MORE extension cords, and I was the only one left so I ran and picked up five more 10ft extension cords, and still asked if they needed more things, all because I want them to have their day...which they didn't get last year because of my DIL's mom who was deathly ill. I was there for almost four hours, or a little over. I was supposed to be back over to my DIL's sister's house for turkey day dinner around 6-630PM for dinner or at least a bite to eat. I was to bring soda, but that was only at my insistence that I bring SOMETHING...

I left at around 415PM and went over to my other son's g/f parents house for turkey dinner which was quite ready. I ate and skipped dessert and helped clean up and when I realized that it was 630PM I kept trying to call my other son, and he didn't answer and didn't answer..well he called me back and he just ripped me a new one, I tried to remain calm, and he says I was to bring the soda, and that I was rude and that I was over an hour late and he had offered MANY times to take the soda(we discussed it ONCE! and we decided no, after ONE talk about it that it would be okay for me to bring it) and I apologized, he says I don't "sound very effing sorry" and I said "I know today has been stressful and all but please don't take it out on me and I am tired and I don't feel well myself" as you guys know I tell ya'all time I had brain/neck surgery...well I tell him I am on my way.. so I get there just before 7PM, and I am in tears, because I am not used to my adult kids (he is 23) talking to me this way, and I say to the hosts that I am not feeling well and drop off the cases of soda, and the pumpkin roll (which btw I didn't need to bring, but just trying to be nice) and leave. I don't meet the uncle I am supposed to walk down the aisle for the christening with tomorrow.

I sent a nice email to the hostess and apologize about the soda, and tell her I am sorry that she isn't feeling well and hope she has a better evening, and explain why I was late, send an email to my son and DIL and tell them I sent the email to the DIL's sister with the apology but I am still sick to my stomach and my head/neck hurt.
I bought so much stuff, I paid the caterer, I paid the stipend at the last minute to Father for the renewal of vows/christening tomorrow and I still get yelled at like this??? It was an honest mistake! I would of called and reminded someone or found out if they got lost versus yelling at them.

What is wrong with my son? I feel like I am done! Am I wrong? Are they just stressed?
I actually feel that my son is becoming a real DH, and not a designated hitter, ya know!

Thanks for reading my saga...

Last edited by trixxie; November 22nd, 2007 at 09:26 PM.
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Old November 22nd, 2007, 09:40 PM
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Re: My feelings are sooo hurt

And another thing...I loaned them a phone to use for him to yell at me. He could of used it to call me to remind me instead of yelling at me. They kept losing or breaking phones and I figured they needed one so people could contact them in regards to the event planning.
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Old November 22nd, 2007, 09:48 PM
1dilwhosreal 1dilwhosreal is offline
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Re: My feelings are sooo hurt

You didn't deserve that at all, Trixie. Your son was beyond rude; he was disrespectful. Being under stress might explain his behavior, but it doesn't excuse it.

Get yourself into a peaceful state of mind as best you can. Attend tomorrow's events with the thought that you are a guest so that the other guests will be comfortable. I know many people don't believe in faking it and putting on a show. That's all well and good in private, but not in public. Be the lady you know you are.

Then on Saturday, you can either rip your child a new one or decide you are all done raising him and see how far his world-owes-him attitude takes him.

I'm sorry this happened today. Take care, hon, you know you raised him to be better than this.
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Old November 22nd, 2007, 09:57 PM
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Re: My feelings are sooo hurt

Oh trixxie! I'm so so sorry to hear about this horrible day! ((((((big hugs for trixxie))))))

1dil gave you the advice I think is best. Make it through tomorrow as best as you can.

You did NOT deserve that and your DS owes you a bigtime apology and your DS/DIL owe you a HUGE thank you gift for all of your hard work. But you can't ask for either. Here's hoping they come to their senses.

Hang in there and post back tomorrow after the christening to let us know how it went.

(((more hugs)))
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Old November 22nd, 2007, 09:59 PM
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Re: My feelings are sooo hurt

ditto on what 1dil said

*hugs*
im sorry trix
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Old November 22nd, 2007, 10:06 PM
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Re: My feelings are sooo hurt

what a stressful day for you. Sounds like you just had too much going on for one day... your son should have understood this. sorry you are having a bad day
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Old November 22nd, 2007, 10:41 PM
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Re: My feelings are sooo hurt

I was told that I could speak to the priest before the ceremony...ya know for confessions and the like. Would it be wrong of me to speak to the priest to bring some peace of mind to me about this to speak to the priest about this?

Right or wrong? I am still sick to my stomach. I know I will do right by them for the day.
I don't even know if my DIL knows what he did tonight.
I am supposed to get my make-up done tomorrow and I don't even want to do that. I don't even want to attend this stupid thing. I would only do it for my grand-daughter. Thats the only person and she doesn't even know it at her age.
what should I do? I don't want to do ANYTHING for him. I am so done with him. There isn't anything thank you, nothing. One of the reasons we are really in the financial straits we are in is because my son takes advantage of us, and we have let him. He doesn't care about anyone but himself.

I really don't like him now. I know, I know...wrong answer. I won't even look him in the eye. I know I cannot.

PS~It makes me feel a little better that I am not wrong in feeling this way.
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