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Old June 23rd, 2012, 07:34 PM
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conversation topics

ahhrrrgggg -


I need help, I just got off the phone with my DM and ... DM gave a 10 minute monologue about someone getting in a snit over a game of dominos, who was keeping score, etc... (sounds like jr high/teen drama)

DM really doesn't do much, I've just been cleaning the house, making icecream, and reading.

I need topics that we can discuss, please.
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Old June 23rd, 2012, 07:38 PM
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Re: conversation topics

DM probably doesn't care so much about the topic. She enjoys the time you spend with her. Ask her to tell you stories and then start to write them down.
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Old June 23rd, 2012, 08:36 PM
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Re: conversation topics

Yeah, a 10 minute monologue about a domino game sounds pretty good considering some of the monologues I am treated to. I have learned, with all of the older people I have dealt with in my life, that they enjoy having someone listen to them - especially someone listen patiently and kindly about a domino snit. If you need to make it a "conversation," ask leading questions. "Oh, really? What did she say to THAT?"

For the last year I have worked in a volunteer job with a 75+ yo lady. She's a fabulous person and I adore her, but she is NOT a shining conversationalist. The reality is that all she wants to do is talk about herself, her family, her house, her life. At first I was really turned off by it; my DD is in the same class as her GD and I couldn't ever get more than the first sentence of a story out. I'd want to say "I'm so tired today! DD was working on her English project last night and she couldn't get the website to save her information! She lost all of her work three times and I stayed up helping her until she got it done." and all I could get out was "I'm so tired! DD was working on her English project last night" and the lady would jump in with "Oh, GD worked on that over the weekend. She wrote the cutest story. She read it to me - she is the BEST writer. I think she ought to write short stories for that academic contest but no one has asked her blah blah blah..." It was frustrating, but eventually I learned to let her lead the conversations and smile and be interactive. All she wants is an audience. I think people start running the other way when boring older people show up.
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Old June 24th, 2012, 06:30 AM
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Re: conversation topics

Quote:
The reality is that all she wants to do is talk about herself, her family, her house, her life.
Exactly! I have several older friends that I've known for 20 years. That's been the relationship the whole time. They talk. I listen. I can't get a word in about myself unless they ask a question, and then the conversation goes back to them. I think it is because they are so starved for attention. Who listens to them? Who respects them and values them? But if you listen to their stories, especially of earlier parts of their life, you get a totally different idea of their world. Those stories are invaluable!

You're doing a good thing, snafu.
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Old June 24th, 2012, 11:37 PM
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Re: conversation topics

My mum doesn't enjoy listening to me talk (well, whinge!) about work. She doesn't really understand being asked what she feels/thinks about things. She LOVES talking about alternative health options as long as i remember not to question the science. And discussing anything to do with her gardening, which she is brilliant at. She likes talking about her pets, and our pets. We can discuss politics, with reservations. - This is a HUGE step, considering it was really dodgy territory when i was a teenager. I have found we can't happily discuss family relationships.

There you have it:
Pets,
Politics,
Potions
and Plants.
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Old July 31st, 2013, 06:02 PM
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Re: conversation topics

(and cartwheels )

Had a great, long, fun visit with my DM today.

I showed her pictures from my trip, took her to run her errands (bought her a belated b-day gift, something she wanted but felt cost too much), had lunch, and chatted ... alot (and did a bit of typing/keyboarding)


When "big book store chain" was going out of business I bought a book that is a kind of memory journal. Grandma is supposed to answer questions about things like "What are your earliest memories?" etc...

My DM would tell me the answers & I would type away - the plan is to print them on the right size of computer lables & put them in the book - DM can't write that much clearly - her writting has gotten shakey & my writing ... I've been told that my writing alone qualifies me to be a dr.

I learned a few new things today - and we've only just started
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Old July 31st, 2013, 06:39 PM
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Re: conversation topics

Wonderful! Not only will the written memories be a treasure, but the time you spend learning about your mother will be a comfort to you someday.
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Old July 31st, 2013, 07:01 PM
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Re: conversation topics

I already knew some of the family stories/legends

Last edited by snafu; August 1st, 2013 at 07:21 AM.
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