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Old August 16th, 2017, 06:10 PM
yaya yaya is offline
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My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

I thought I had seen just about everything on my SIL's FB page as she attempts to get attention from people, but this one really "shone". I can see her page because my husband has asked me to "take charge" of his FB page because he has zero interest in FB but still wants to make sure he doesn't miss some important family news or the occasional message from friends.

Anyway, she posted a video from some movie about Hitler in which Hitler is yelling at his officers about (presumably) battles that weren't going very well. Instead of the correct English subtitles, someone went in and wrote hospital-speak as the subtitles (such as "I have a nurse crying on the 2nd floor and there's a balloon pump needed STAT" - paraphrasing a bit here).

Firstly, I find it offensive that someone is taking the hate speech of Hitler and affixing it to hospital cares and concerns. His words were poison, and yes I realize it is supposed to be "funny" to mis-translate his hate speech into doctor-speak, but honestly especially given recent events, I don't think it is terribly appropriate.

Secondly, because it is filled with hospital lingo (of which I'm very familiar because my husband is in the medical field, but not a Doooooocctor like SIL is) she is basically trying to show off her profession with the inside jokes of the video.

This girl has zero sense of what is appropriate, but then again she's not from the States and loathes everything about America, so maybe it is her subtle way of making fun of our recent current events. With this girl, God only knows.

But, I digress...it is just unfathomable to me that she'd use Hitler's hate speech as an opportunity to try to brag about her profession and to try to get a laugh. The girl has no sense of appropriateness whatsoever.
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Old August 16th, 2017, 10:09 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

Well, I obviously don't know your SIL. But I have a lot of nurse friends who have circulated a video like that on FB (the "series" has been around for at least six years). I don't feel that they were bragging about their profession or using his "hate speech" and applying it to the medical field.

I think my nurse friends were trying to laugh at the way their lives feel at times. If it was the same video I have seen, the context of the video highlighted how demanding and insane Hitler was. I think my nurse friends feel like sometimes people are demanding and insane towards them.

Did you say something to her about it?
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Old August 17th, 2017, 09:45 AM
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Re: My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

Two things:

1) This is one of those instances where your sense of decorum and her sense of humor clash. Just shake your head and move on, as you would with a toddler making potty jokes.

2) If reading the muck from your IL's causes you too much stress, you can unfollow your SIL, or tell your DH that he's responsible for his own family's updates from now on. I did this with most of my own family and I'm much happier for it!
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Old August 18th, 2017, 09:21 AM
yaya yaya is offline
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Re: My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

It's a shame I decided today to come onto this forum for some support and commiseration, and instead got judged. It offended me what my SIL chose to post immediately after a white supremacist current event in our country. I realize it might not offend everyone, and yes I realized she was trying to be "funny", but I felt the timing was...poor.

Last edited by yaya; August 18th, 2017 at 09:25 AM.
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Old August 18th, 2017, 09:34 AM
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Re: My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

You didn't get judged. The situation was judged by you. And then you asked us to also judge it.

You didn't like her joke. You think it's tasteless and disgusting. You don't have any power to change her or her post, but you do have the power to either address it or to ignore it.

I have friends who posted Walmart torch memes and Spongebob video. What can I do but smh? So we all do what we have the power to do and scroll past it, unfollow/unfriend, or not log in. You wouldn't even have seen it had you not logged in as your husband so maybe just sticking to your own account until this current political drama blows over would be your best option.
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Old August 18th, 2017, 01:22 PM
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Re: My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by yaya View Post
It's a shame I decided today to come onto this forum for some support and commiseration, and instead got judged.
yaya, I didn't judge you. I was trying to help you.

What I did was read your prior posts to get an understanding of where you are coming from, what hurt you are feeling. I re-read about the difficulties that you have with your in-laws, about how you are now cut off from them and your DH is about 90% cut off from them. With that background, I re-read your post. I'll admit that I didn't really reply with what I should have said. So here is what I think I should have said.

This is about more than the videos on SIL's FB. This is about the fact that you have been hurt by your ILs and will never get validated much less get an apology.

Have you ever heard the term "BEC"? It stands for "B**** Eating Crackers." I relate so well to this term, because it describes that painful period after you have been hurt by someone who doesn't care, but before you stop feeling hurt.

Urban Dictionary has a better description, but a BEC is basically someone you can't stand. It is someone who gets under your skin by even doing the least little thing that isn't even a bad thing. As in, "Grrr. Look at that B standing over there eating crackers. She's probably plotting out the next mean thing she's going to do. Who does she think she is? She's such a jerk."

In your case, your ILs are your BECs. You are not only hurt by their actions, but by their total lack of remorse and their continuing on enjoying life while you suffer. Or at least that's what I think.

So having been through that, I know that the next thing you need to do is stop exposing yourself to it. You are supposed to be cut off from the ILs. Cut off means no contact. You are trying to help your husband by checking his FB so he doesn't have to but he won't miss important family news. Do you understand that invalidates the cutoff? You will never, ever heal from the hurt if you are constantly subjected to your BEC.

My initial response was an effort to say "yaya, she's your BEC." You have attributed evil intentions to her action that may or may not be true. Take a deep breath and realize that her actions don't reflect on you or have anything to do with you.

I told you in a previous post that the only way to win this war was to quit fighting. Stop giving your SIL and the other ILs that space in your head. It would be a kindness if your husband would respect the cutoff and not ask you to keep him up to date with important family events.

I have a long list of people whose posts I have blocked because I didn't want to see the posts they made that offended me. Sounds like that might be a good option for your SIL since your husband doesn't care.
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Last edited by KayKay; August 18th, 2017 at 01:26 PM.
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Old August 20th, 2017, 02:38 PM
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Re: My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

I really agree with "un-following" or "hiding" people on social media. It really can give you a sense peace to just step back from certain people that tend to get on your nerves. I would definitely confront her - in a civil way - if I felt very strongly about something being offensive and clearly wrong. But first I would try to determine if it was just a difference in humor styles or if there really was a kind of malice in what she shared.
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Old August 23rd, 2017, 01:35 AM
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Re: My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

I totally agree with what KayKay said. I know in my period of hurting with the cut off in laws that the ways they so much breathed would have offended me.

Now from a distinct emotional distance I can be far more objective about any actions or intentions.

In slight contrast to what PeeWeeMomof3 has also said. It doesn't actually matter whether the post was made in malice. The point is it triggered YOU. Why was that? Was it because it was who posted it or was it the actual content. That is the part you need to work on and see if there is any issue there you need to put closure on.
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Old August 24th, 2017, 12:57 PM
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Re: My SIL Joked About Hitler?!!?

What's funny for some may not be funny for others. Sometimes someone else's humor may offend another person. Hence, it's not a perfect world.

Of course, you're free to make a post stating that you don't particularly care for the post - that you feel offended by it.

You really only have a few choices...

1. Make a post stating you are offended.
2. Make a post stating that it may offend someone else.
3. Ignore it.
4. Un-Follow them.
5. Un-Friend them.

I can't really tell you what to do... But, if you are really offended by it. You have a right to express your disagreement.

I've seen videos like that with hitler. Most of them really make him look like a complete fool - which he was.
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