need help dealing

[LucyVanPelt]

Originally Posted by snafu

sigh.... I'm trying (note trying) to think positively



Anyway - its that time of year when DS prefers his dad's family & I'm realizing that if/when he has a family I'll most likely never see DS (or his family) for the holidays ....

Don't borrow trouble, snafu. I understand that this would worry you, but don't dwell on the future. Definitely do something to care for yourself.

[snafu]

Y'all are right. I need to quit catasraphising (can't spell).

I also need to make more time to do fun things with DS.

[LucyVanPelt]

Originally Posted by snafu

I also need to make more time to do fun things with DS.

One of the things I found about my boys was that they were/are not at all interested in doing anything with me, fun or otherwise. They do, however, love knowing that I am around and reliable. They can call on me when they want my help, but they definitely don't call me when they want to have fun.

Truth is, it does hurt my feelings to know I'm not the fun parent. If I sat at home and did nothing, I'm afraid I'd turn into my mother. I have to take care of myself. So I have been working on reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. So far, it's working out.

Maybe this strategy will work for you, too?

Anyway, I wish you peace this Christmas and Happy New Year!

[snafu]

arg....

DS slept through plans - I let him know how disappoint I was


been talking quite a bit with DS & telling him stuff (as it comes up) that I used to do....DS is / as I'm his "more responsible" bio-parent

[snafu]

DS wants to hang out with me and talk - but we need to be doing something, ex. road trip/driving, organizing the basement, etc.

[LucyVanPelt]

Originally Posted by snafu

DS wants to hang out with me and talk - but we need to be doing something, ex. road trip/driving, organizing the basement, etc.

That's the secret to talking to young men!

[snafu]

Originally Posted by KayKay

(((hugs)))

At the point where DS has a place (then family) of his own, you will most likely be welcome to celebrate holidays with him, snafu. It may be a weekend before deal, but you will see him (especially if you are willing to travel to him). Right now he wants to spend holidays with X's family because he loves and misses them. Once he moves out on his own, you will also be someone he loves and misses and wants to spend holidays with.

Take care of yourself. Do something this weekend to nurture your soul.

I really needed this today... Makes me feel I've done a good job with DS

[KayKay]

You HAVE done a good job with DS. And even with DSD even though she fought you tooth and nail.

Hang in there.