bad daughter

[snafu]

I miss my DM, I really do. However, due to her health she can't do a lot - or as much as she would like .


She's going to spend the weekend with us - and , well - I feel that I'll have to curtail some of the things/activities DS & I wanted to do.

[KayKay]

So why does that make you a bad daughter? A bad daughter wouldn't care and would leave her in the dust.

[Mrs X]

- Agree with KayKay. - Have a lovely weekend.

[snafu]

I haven't been able to attend _____ for a year or two & I really, really want to so it - DM would love to go, but due to her health & the heat its impossible. So I feel bad - I feel I'm giving up something I really want, because she's going to be visiting, & it'd be rude to go & leave her at home.


There's other things too....its just that I'd getting older & packing all of DM's stuff & medical equipment, etc. wears me out - I also have to pick her up & the round trip (including packing & loading her stuff) takes about 4 hours ( or more).

I'm finding that I want to do something enjoyable for the amount of time I'm running back & forth (about 8 hrs total) rather than being a pack mule .

I really wished she lived closer - like 20 minutes (or less) away -

[KayKay]

(((snafu)))

You're allowed to feel that way. The important thing is how you behave, and you're being a good daughter. You know, a lot of aging parents move closer to their adult children - my GMIL did it and my IL's were able to take care of her as she aged. Any chance your mom would consider that?

[snafu]

she doesn't want to move away from her friends AND places in my area cost more


and DM has said that there is no way she'd ever move in with us, she needs her alone time (guess I know where/who I got my need for alone time from)

[Knot2loud]

Originally Posted by snafu

she doesn't want to move away from her friends AND places in my area cost more


and DM has said that there is no way she'd ever move in with us, she needs her alone time (guess I know where/who I got my need for alone time from)

My mothers the same way - can't leave her friends and loves her alone time. She did live with us for about a year, but my wife and her weren't getting along. It's been a year and a half now and they get along rather well. At least they're civil to each other (more so than my wife and daughter - but that's another story).

snafu... you're not a bad daughter; not at all. Your mom should be, and probably is, proud of you.

[snafu]

I'm feeling guilty again...sigh... I want a holiday with just family (those of us who live in the same house) one year - I want to open presents without company here... and I feel guilty as neither of my sisters have made any effort in years to see DM at X-mas (& I want a year, when I have DS, off.

I hope one of my sisters will make the trip to see DM at X-mas next year, so she won't be alone -otherwise I'll have her again

I want to be able to relax without company over break - I get no down time, well not as much as I want/need. I want to read, bake, take care of stuff, get on line, etc. and DM wants to "visit" - there's only so much we have to talk about

I used to get DM for more days, but this year she'll be here 4 days/3 nights - that's it

[LucyVanPelt]

(((hugs))) I understand.

[snafu]

sigh .... I know she won't be around forever (due to her health & heart transplant 12 yrs ago, I know her time is limited...DM & I didn't think she'd live to see DS grad from Middle School/Jr High - that's 1 1/2 yr from now)


and as DS just loves having Grandma stay, 'd hate to disappoint him as well ( she gets his room & DS stays in what I call "the man cave" )

soon he'll probably turn into a teen boy who can't be bothered with parents/grandparents -