Go Back   Friends and Family Forum > The Friend Forum > Other friendships

Other friendships Best friends, ex-friends, or any other friends

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old August 5th, 2016, 03:28 AM
FreezersZ FreezersZ is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 12
FreezersZ is on a distinguished road
Unhappy Shouid I talk to my friend's parents about our friendship status?

It seem like I can't stay to become BFF for someone... I already unfriend with a 5 years friendship.. and now it comes another....

So the story is, i've been friends with him for 3 years. Plays games together, Watch cartoons together, Go to movies together... But lately... (almost 1 year now) He really addicted to his new ex, Texting to his ex is his regime... IDK is it because he plays games alot or did he just keep texting to his ex, this semister is the FIRST TIME he failed in English. Horribly....... also... 1 month ago.. he PM me and ask "will a little rusty metal cause me Tetanus?" And days later.. He reveal himhelf to me with the knife cutting wound... He cut himself in the arm after he asks me that!!!!!! I feel really gulty I didn't know what does he is about to do to himself and I'm unable to stop him.

And now, 5 Aug. 1 week ago we go to school camp. Everything is normal. Untill I tell him that I may stop playing games from now untill I can get to the University. "Fine" He says... And I ask him that I may use his House's lobby area to read a book (I feels motivated to read a book when He's beside me.... somehow, But I didn't told him that) But he really Refuse the f--- out of my request...
When we come back, I decide to pay him a visit to his house... (I PM him first, of course.. But he just return me with silent) when I arrives. He says he only he will allow me to stay for about 40 mins. And after 40 mins end, He just try to push me out of the house. I was visiting him before, but he never do that to me..

And after that day. He starts to backing off from me. He says he wasn't. But I've left 1 a 5 year friendship before. I know he is backing off. I wonder if he's trying to help me get to University or did He just happy to send me out of his life. And shouid I ask his Mom for this relationship advice? She seem cool enough. Since my friend is also a mysterious person. He got a lot in his head. I think talking to his mom will untie a lot of question.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old August 5th, 2016, 04:38 AM
LucyVanPelt's Avatar
LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,455
LucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Shouid I talk to my friend's parents about our friendship status?

I don't think talking to his mother will help you. It will make him angry that you went behind his back to his mother.

What you are experiencing is normal distancing at this age. You're going in a different direction than your friend and he doesn't know what to do about how he feels. If he's cutting himself, he may have other emotional issues, too.

Let him know you value the friendship, then back away, too. Focus on making new friends at University. Time will either heal your friendship or end it. You don't have to do anything about it.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old August 5th, 2016, 02:05 PM
Mrs X's Avatar
Mrs X Mrs X is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 3,917
Mrs X has a reputation beyond reputeMrs X has a reputation beyond reputeMrs X has a reputation beyond reputeMrs X has a reputation beyond reputeMrs X has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Shouid I talk to my friend's parents about our friendship status?

If you are both under 18 you probably should talk to his mother about him cutting. I agree with Lucy that indicates other issues. - He was trying to make that your fault by the way good on you for at least recognising it wasn't.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old August 5th, 2016, 11:42 PM
FreezersZ FreezersZ is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 12
FreezersZ is on a distinguished road
Re: Shouid I talk to my friend's parents about our friendship status?

Thank you for both of your replies.
So... I shouidn't ask his mom for advice since this maybe a is a normal backing-off at the age like this...?
So.. focus more on University.. okay..

And how about that self-injuries?
This is the first time he do something like this (or at least, the first time I saw him do something like this) I ask him not to do it again. "You better hope for me not to do it again" he says... but when he show me the wounds. I can see the hastitation on doing that. Because the wounds is not that severe. And by asking me about the infections that may happen. I know he was just doing something to show his ex that he "accept the gult" that he make his ex angry...... the wrong way..
So what about that one? Shouid I contact someone? His mom, some phycologist or else?

By the way, thank you again.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old August 7th, 2016, 02:09 PM
Mrs X's Avatar
Mrs X Mrs X is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 3,917
Mrs X has a reputation beyond reputeMrs X has a reputation beyond reputeMrs X has a reputation beyond reputeMrs X has a reputation beyond reputeMrs X has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Shouid I talk to my friend's parents about our friendship status?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreezersZ View Post

And how about that self-injuries?
This is the first time he do something like this (or at least, the first time I saw him do something like this) I ask him not to do it again. "You better hope for me not to do it again" he says... but when he show me the wounds. I can see the hastitation on doing that. Because the wounds is not that severe. And by asking me about the infections that may happen. I know he was just doing something to show his ex that he "accept the gult" that he make his ex angry...... the wrong way..
So what about that one? Shouid I contact someone? His mom, some phycologist or else?

By the way, thank you again.
OK, even more obvious he is not accepting responsibility, and trying to put the blame on everyone else. This is ABSOLUTELY his problem and he needs to take responsibility for it.

Whether or not you are under 18, you could talk to his mom, but you are better to tell him to get help, and keep telling him that it IS his choice to behave like this..... (There is a pretty serious psychological syndrome where peple deliberately try to hurt themselves and get infections to get attention, maybe called munchousens?) I'm not medical, and i've only had the behaviour of affected persons described to me by a medical relative who works with these patients. Your friend needs to be diagnosed by a professional.

Push the guilt back to him, he is trying very hard to make it your problem, it isn't. It isn't his ex's problem. Not his Mom's, not school, only his.

Last edited by Mrs X; August 7th, 2016 at 02:12 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old August 7th, 2016, 02:27 PM
LucyVanPelt's Avatar
LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,455
LucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Shouid I talk to my friend's parents about our friendship status?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreezersZ View Post
he PM me and ask "will a little rusty metal cause me Tetanus?" And days later.. He reveal himhelf to me with the knife cutting wound... He cut himself in the arm after he asks me that!!!!!! I feel really gulty I didn't know what does he is about to do to himself and I'm unable to stop him.
I misread this the first time. I thought the cut was an accident.

I agree with Mrs. X. Tell his mother that he's cutting. If you're at university, talk to a counselor there, too.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old August 10th, 2016, 09:01 AM
FreezersZ FreezersZ is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 12
FreezersZ is on a distinguished road
Re: Shouid I talk to my friend's parents about our friendship status?

Well. I'm about to go to talk to his mom about him cutting himself soon when he's not home. (I don't want him to flush me down, of course)

Thank you for both of your replies again.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bff, breakup, ex addicted friend, friendship, mom advice

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2007, The BlueSparks Network