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Other friendships Best friends, ex-friends, or any other friends

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  #11  
Old October 11th, 2017, 05:15 AM
mary40 mary40 is offline
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Re: best friend dilemma LONG

i just wanted to give an update. She was super nice to me for like 2 days saying how much she loved me and how amazing I was. Then all of a sudden she went really cold. Like answering my texts with short replies. Yesterday we had work together and she hardly spoke two words...and when I told her stuff she was like smiling with a fake smile. I dont want to ask her whats wrong because its gonna sound like Im needy. It's just wierd. Im thinking maybe she thought everything over and decided to put a distance between us. Or she may have other issues going on. This whole situation is really stressing me out. I think I should give her space and not contact her until she contacts me. What do you think? Or shall I text her saying are you ok?
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  #12  
Old October 11th, 2017, 05:23 AM
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Re: best friend dilemma LONG

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Originally Posted by mary40 View Post
Or she may have other issues going on. This whole situation is really stressing me out. I think I should give her space and not contact her until she contacts me. What do you think? Or shall I text her saying are you ok?
Managing friendships isn't easy.

It sounds like your friend has her own issues. Unfortunately, her behavior probably triggers your insecurity even though it may have nothing to do with you. In your place, I would ask her face to face: "You seem a little out-of-sorts. Is there anything I can do?" If she doesn't want to talk, then give her space.

Don't worry if she needs space. All friendships need space at time.
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  #13  
Old October 11th, 2017, 05:32 AM
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Re: best friend dilemma LONG

[quote=LucyVanPelt;84949]Managing friendships isn't easy.

Unfortunately, her behavior probably triggers your insecurity even though it may have nothing to do with you.


yes that happens alot. Shes mostly really caring but has times when shes moody and these are the times when I ask myself if its me but I usually ask her whats wrong or just shrugg it off. But this time maybe because of the incident we had Im doubting myself even more. Then I tell myself if she would have felt she wants to keep away from me she would have done so since the beginning. And Im afraid if I ask her shell think Im having the same doubts about our friendship again. I reached a point where I think I need some distance Im stressing too much about this whole thing......
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  #14  
Old October 11th, 2017, 07:12 AM
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Re: best friend dilemma LONG

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Originally Posted by mary40 View Post
I reached a point where I think I need some distance Im stressing too much about this whole thing......
It is very wise to recognize what you need. Good for you! Now listen to yourself and take the little break.
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  #15  
Old October 13th, 2017, 11:20 AM
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Re: best friend dilemma LONG

Things are back to normal, I guess. Because I have to see her for work and we started a project together i am still in quite alot of contact. I did ask her if something was wrong and she said no shes just super busy and her schedule is so hectic. Then she texted me saying she missed hanging out so much and we should meet up next weekend. The same day when I met her she was again not really in the mood to chat much.Its like over txts and stuff shes expressing how much she misses me and loves me and then when I see her theres just something off. And I cant help but wonder if shes faking it just to keep our project running bcs its kind of dependant on me. She is the kind of person who is really picky about other peoples personalities. Then again, I am thinking that what happened wasnt such a huge deal but I guess she used to see me like the perfect person and now she doesnt anymore. I really need to know whats going on inside her. I dont want to be used just for the sake of the project. Also, she has other friends she cant stand but still is nice to just for the sake of some benefit. At this point Im not really desperate about this frienship anymore but really need to know where Im standing.
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  #16  
Old October 13th, 2017, 02:14 PM
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Re: best friend dilemma LONG

Just jumping in here...

I think you ought to go back to not asking her if something is wrong. Just work with the assumption that nothing is wrong until she tells you otherwise. It would put a lot of pressure on me if someone kept asking me if something is wrong. If there is something wrong, she doesn't want to tell you and every time you ask she has to lie.
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  #17  
Old October 13th, 2017, 06:06 PM
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Re: best friend dilemma LONG

ITA with kaykay..... I used to know someone who would keep asking if something was wrong, until my sister and I got "p.o."ed, then the friend would say something like "see I was right, I knew something was wrong"
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