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  #31  
Old March 3rd, 2008, 05:07 PM
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HisHeathenHoney HisHeathenHoney is offline
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

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Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
Do you think I haven't thought long and hard about what's best for my kids?

Wow.

And anyway, isn't "thinking long and hard" by definition NOT making "a hasty decision"? If you think about it long and hard, it's still possible to be wrong, but it's not a hasty decision.
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  #32  
Old March 3rd, 2008, 06:19 PM
1dilwhosreal 1dilwhosreal is offline
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Re: On Grandparent Rights...

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Originally Posted by Omawannabe View Post
I assumed this was like a blog...since so many of the comments I read from parents and their opinions concerning grandparent rights really antagonized and upset me. I believe in being fair and being respectful of others. My reaction in verse was a direct response to what I read. I apoligize if it was too strong. I will be more cautious in the future. Is this site mostly for discussions on questions we pose invidually? Unfortuately, I inferred from what I read and thought that others could state their opinion. I did not mean to offend anyone with my habitual teacher soap box detailing. I got a slap on the hand from an admiinistrator. I can assure you that I have never posted on this forum until today and will be more cautious in the future not to grandstand. Sorry.
I think there is a misunderstanding about the purpose of this forum. It is not really a blog because a blog is really a one sided spiel. We are a growing community of friends who help each other with issues in our daily lives. It is mostly intended for support, so advice is given which we are all free to accept or reject as it applies to our circumstances.

Unfortunately, your original post in this thread did come off as too strong and unfounded as it was not in reply to anyone's comments to you. It just started off with the "general you" which would seem to apply equally to every parent on this board. I think it was too soon to jump into this discussion and it appears as if you came only to start a fight.

You took personally things that were posted before you arrived, yet seem surprised that those who post here took your words personally. If you opt to post in such a manner, of course you will get posts that disagree with your point of view. They may be harsh to read, but rest assured that we do not tolerate personal attacks by any member and we will warn members when they're walking the line.

Please consider talking about other non-issues until you get to know the members here and find some with whom you share a common bond. For example, Berlin is a grandmother. Others here-- both men and women-- are teachers, nurses, sahms, police officers. I work in church ministry (when I work). After that, if you want to discuss a hot topic that's sure to get heated, it might be better received.

Last edited by 1dilwhosreal; March 3rd, 2008 at 06:30 PM.
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  #33  
Old March 3rd, 2008, 08:49 PM
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

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Originally Posted by Omawannabe View Post
I am going to respond because your comments are unfounded and unfair. Name calling as such again is my point...exactly...you infer that it is what I would do. I spent over twenty years protecting children in my special needs class and Alternative school from emotional and physical abuse from their supposedly loving parents...(this is sarcasm). I would go to court if I even remotely thought these boys were being abused in any way. I hope I know my son well enough to know that he would fight tooth and nail to protect his family...an in particular...his boys, if he thought they were in danger of being hurt. Using terms like psycho bound is not resolution in the making it is flat insulting to grandparents that care and would give their life for thier grandchildren. Yes, we are not perfect...we sometimes overindulge our grandchildren...but, most of us are one very important thing...that thing is someone who loves unconditionallly. AND THAT is the problem with a lot of grandparents...ie former parents...we love unconditiionally. Therefore,
for one, big blocks of text are unreadable

for two, if every grandparent was a perfect freaking angel, then there would be no litigation.

SOME GRANDPARENTS ARE PSYCHOTIC, maybe if i type it in big bold letters, youll get that. My inlaws are PSYCHOTIC, and they will never get near my children.

if you think all grandparents are perfect and should have access to their grandchildren, you live in a bubble world of roses and puppies and light.

and i think i know who you are, if not your just like her, and i want nothing to do with you.
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  #34  
Old March 4th, 2008, 01:15 AM
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

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Originally Posted by Berlin View Post
You only have a place in your son's life if he gives you one. We're not entitled to any part of our kids' lives after they turn 18.

sorry didnt read full thread but is this true as here parents and grandparents do have right for geting compensation ( context : i read today in news paper an old couple was granted compensation from kid on monthly basis as kids earlier refuse to stay with them.) , agreeing or disagrreing with kids


picture in india is different
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  #35  
Old March 4th, 2008, 01:31 AM
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

Annsdil - great post on page 2, very well said.

Pandsala - you are absolutely right. Your ILs are pyschotic. I would probably call social services myself if you did let these people anywhere near your kids!!!
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  #36  
Old March 4th, 2008, 06:20 AM
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

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Originally Posted by marwahad View Post
sorry didnt read full thread but is this true as here parents and grandparents do have right for geting compensation ( context : i read today in news paper an old couple was granted compensation from kid on monthly basis as kids earlier refuse to stay with them.) , agreeing or disagrreing with kids


picture in india is different
No, it's much different here. In the U.S., children aren't obligated to their parents or Grandparents in any way. Many old folks do get taken care of by their families, though there is no obligation. All adults must take care of themselves.
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  #37  
Old March 4th, 2008, 06:57 AM
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

Quote:
Originally Posted by marwahad View Post
sorry didnt read full thread but is this true as here parents and grandparents do have right for geting compensation ( context : i read today in news paper an old couple was granted compensation from kid on monthly basis as kids earlier refuse to stay with them.) , agreeing or disagrreing with kids


picture in india is different

marwahad - this is quite stunning to me! Things are quite different here.

In the U.S., the only financial obligation anyone has to family is to their minor (under age 18) children. (That may not be 100% accurate, but it's pretty close). There is no obligation to support parents or siblings. That is not to say that people don't do it. My uncles supported my grandmother until she died at 99. They were not required to do so, but they did. Many people have elderly parents live with them or pay for their care at a nursing home, but it is done on a voluntary basis.

So my question for you, marwahad, is (and I apologize for my ignorance) whether or not there are social programs in India to assist the elderly who can't support themselves? The effectiveness of such programs here in the U.S. is debatable, but we have them none-the-less.

(or maybe this would be a better thread somewhere else?)
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  #38  
Old March 5th, 2008, 07:35 PM
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

I feel compelled to post on this thread, particularly because the previous thread was in regards to my situation with my inlaws based on THEIR behaviour.

I grew up without my grandparents and I am grateful that life had provided my children the opportunity to have both sets in their lives. I had done everything to ensure that access was given CARTE BLANCHE - wrongly so in my now enlightened opinion - and without getting into all the icky details, have made the right decision in regards to my children and their access to my inlaws.

My children are exactly that, MY CHILDREN, and until they are adults, my husband and I will make decisions for them that hopefully turn out for the best. Instilling self-respect is high on our list and it would be hypocritical for us to allow people access to our children that display the opposite in their treatment of us, our children's parents.

Grandparents do not have the RIGHT to their grandchildren.

It is a blessing to be involved in grandchildren's lives. A blessing grandparents usually are grateful for, and because of that, a beautiful relationship evolves that all parties hopefully benefit from. But not everyone has such unconditional affection for each other and that's where it breaks down. From the obvious (physical abuse) to the not so obvious (emotional/mental) but detrimental none-the-less.

Happy families are the choice but just not always the reality.

Individual stories aside, I am confused with the original posters stance, and maybe a little clarity from her would be more helpful instead of the generalities expressed. Sometimes its hard to see past your own situation for a truly open-minded outlook on an issue, and I think that it might just be the case here.

Just my GST (Ontario Tax cents!)
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  #39  
Old March 6th, 2008, 05:32 AM
1dilwhosreal 1dilwhosreal is offline
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

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Originally Posted by latelearner View Post
Individual stories aside, I am confused with the original posters stance, and maybe a little clarity from her would be more helpful instead of the generalities expressed. Sometimes its hard to see past your own situation for a truly open-minded outlook on an issue, and I think that it might just be the case here.
Sorry, latelearner, the OP has decided that this forum was not the right fit for her and has cancelled her membership. So, there won't be any clarifications from her.
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  #40  
Old March 6th, 2008, 12:45 PM
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Re: On Grandparent Rights

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Originally Posted by Omawannabe View Post
. How dare some of you think that becauses you are now a parent...that you rparents have all of a sudden assumed an inconsequential role in your life or that of your child.

Get a clue, Oma. I DARED, and it made my life better and my family a happier place for me AND the children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omawannabe View Post
.I realize that some people who call themselves parents are NOT by any stretch of the imagination a mother or father. I taught special needs and alternative school and some parents....I use that term mildly......who called themselves a mother and father should never have been allowed to ever give birth to a child much less raise one. The tears of pain I wiped away, the bruises I nursed, and the parent meetings I attended that took every bit of self control on my part left me crying for hours at night. Some people have no right being a parent AT ALL. Yet, some people...ie grandparents...have a discernible and God given right to be just that... loving and nurturing grandparents..
Do you realize that SOME PEOPLE who call themselves grandparents are not by any stretch of the imagination a grandmother or grandfather?

Those parents who bruised their children you taught, who left them weeping, who neglected them and left them for you to raise, what do you think happened to those parents? That's right! They turned into GRANDPARENTS. And they are still bruising and neglecting and causing children in their family to weep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omawannabe View Post
.Some people have no right being a parent AT ALL. Yet, some people...ie grandparents...have a discernible and God given right to be just that... loving and nurturing grandparents..
And SOME PEOPLE have no right being a grandparent AT ALL. Yet, some people...ie PARENTS (like me)...have a descernible and God-given and LEGAL and MORAL right to be just that...loving and nurturing grandparents.
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