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Old July 12th, 2012, 11:50 AM
deeann deeann is offline
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newbie from UK with probs

Hi
my daughter has abandoned her 11 month old in care and her other 2 are now with their dad but he cannot keep the baby
me and my husband have said we'll have the baby - I am 55 my husband 63
we both have arthritis probs but are fairly mobile
I have a 13 year old as well as 18 and 21 living at home
everyone in family are advsing me against fostering my GS but I cant bear the thought of him in care - esp as the other 2 are with their dad
My daughter has gone off the rails having lost her home through rent arrears and now has refused offers of monetry help to get another home so she obviously doesnt want her children
am i doing the right thing as I dont want hassle from my daughter all the time I am fostering the baby and I am going to get a residential order for him to be with me permanently
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Old July 12th, 2012, 11:59 AM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: newbie from UK with probs

You're doing exactly what I would do, given what you've told us.

Why are other family members advising you not to foster your GS? Why would your daughter hassle you?
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Old July 12th, 2012, 02:00 PM
deeann deeann is offline
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Re: newbie from UK with probs

she would be on the phone all the time demanding her child back even tho she doesnt want him
family say we will be tied down for 16 years - which I know but I do not work and have a 13 year old of my own and I cant bear thought of him in care
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Old July 12th, 2012, 02:09 PM
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Re: newbie from UK with probs

I agree with KayKay, you are doing exactly what I would do.

I'm sorry you're having to raise your grandchild and about your daughter's situation.

You may be right about the phone calls. Have you and your husband talked about ways to manage them? For example, if you're using a smart phone you can program her number to silent dial.
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Old July 12th, 2012, 03:35 PM
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Re: newbie from UK with probs

Thanks for clarifying deann. Neither of those reasons would stop me from fostering my GS. You never know... someday maybe your daughter will straighten up her act, or maybe the dad will step up (once the baby is no longer a baby). Either way, if the worst thing that came out of me fostering the baby were to be tied down for 16 years, I'd do it. That child deserves as much stability as he can get!
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Old July 14th, 2012, 08:40 AM
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Re: newbie from UK with probs

Speaking from the respective of growing up with a parent that never wanted me, I think taking in your grandchild is the best decision.

I wish my grandparents had thought enough to take me out of the hostile home I grew up in, and show me what real love and a stable household looked like.

Because I have this perspective, I would do the same as you. In regards to the harassment, maybe there's something legally you could do? Some form of agreement betweent he court of her visiting right, which may also cover communication
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Old July 17th, 2012, 09:15 AM
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Re: newbie from UK with probs

((hugs))
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