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Old February 11th, 2019, 11:05 PM
lilly210 lilly210 is offline
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Maid of honor or not

Hello everyone-
I need advice with a situation with a close friend. I feel insecure about where Iím at with our relationship. Sheís says weíre friends forever, but her actions are not aligned. Sheís hardly there for me. Iím going through a breast cancer scare right now and donít feel she really cares about what Iím going through. She only asked repeated in the beginning because she was worried about me ruining her moment at the bridesmaid dinner. Roughly the same time, she got closer to another girl that she asked to be a bridesmaid. I was under the impression we were all suppose to get along and create this amazing experience for her. Bachelorette party and all. I was excited because we were talking about it long before figure weíve been through so much. Things have change in a very short period of time. She got jealous that the bridesmaids and I were meeting up.
There was miss communication and she didnít know we were gonna talk about the bachelorette party. Only a girls night out. She called me and tried to invite herself. Repeated tried to make me feel guilty and said, ďyes this is exactly what I wanted.Ē I can tell by her tone she doesnít mean it. I had to reiterate to her that if it wasnít for the bachelorette party then she wouldíve been invited.
Iím confused and this change in the air is pushing me away and Iím more defensive.
She wonít be direct with me with her feelings. Im at the edge now. Im tired of pretending everything is okay and itís not. I donít think she wants to talk about it. She keeps telling me sheís working on being direct. Iím actually tired. Sheís telling everyone else but accept me I feel. Using her boyfriend as an excuse.
I donít want to ruin anything for her and want to keep it on a positive note. Sheís making it hard and the friendship is one sided.
I donít know what to do. Sheís not too close with one of the bridesmaids and sheís getting closer to the other one. She just recently kinda stop talking to another friend in the beginning of the year because the girl doesnít reach out to her.
Iím concerned I will hurt the relationship if I continue to press but if I donít, it will eventually fall apart.
I donít understand why she asked me in the first place..... itís really unfair and puts me in a weird situation. Get this, in the beginning, I was suppose to give the speech, she decided to change her mind and ask all the bridesmaids to give a speech as well. I asked her if she trusts me. She told me is not my ability she questions. She thinks itíll be better for he situation.
Iím so angry..... sometimes I just want to call her and ask her what the heck is wrong??? Itís like this passive aggressive punishment and I think sheís doing it on purpose.
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Old February 12th, 2019, 04:21 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Maid of honor or not

It sounds like she's in a very self-centered bridezilla mode right now.

Be patient and kind. Fulfill your duties as a bridesmaid. And then expect her to just disappear for a bit while she's adjusting to her new life as a new wife. If she's a good person, she'll realize she was very selfish and come back.

I'm sorry you're stuck in this. Hopefully, you'll know not to behave this way when you are getting married.
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Old February 12th, 2019, 11:37 AM
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snafu snafu is offline
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Re: Maid of honor or not

I think Lucy has good advice

And major (Hugs) for what you are going thru personally
once burned, twice shy

He who ignores history is condemed to repeat it!
(it also means you weren't smart enough to learn from your mistakes )
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