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Old November 28th, 2014, 09:38 PM
bobkyle bobkyle is offline
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Grandparents enabling adult child

I've been living with my grandparents for the past two years now to finish my last two years of high school. My uncle hasn't worked in a career-type job his entire life (he's basically been a salesman his whole life and JUST finished college --in which his job was in the library--) and recently broke up with his on-and-off girlfriend of many years. So in order to finally make him actually leave her, my grandparents offered to take him in and have him leave the state he was in.

They have been supporting him financially for his entire life, even paying his rent on apartments when he was younger. Recently, my grandma has taken me to the bank with her... TO WITHDRAW MONEY TO GIVE TO HIM. It infuriates me to no end.

Whenever my dad, other uncle, or I try to say anything to my grandma, she gets upset and cries and tells us that he's her son and she's going to help him. But is supporting every single thing he does really help him?! My father told me that when I go off to college, he will not let me stay at his house unless I have an interview in the area or I am paying rent. This motivates me to work hard, but I'm getting the impression that that method would be too much too late for him.

This is the part that angers me the most. Well, first of all, he pays no rent. He came here to "find a better job" because he got a college degree (finally), but he has a job that he could get anywhere. Seriously, anywhere. He hasn't been looking for apartments because, as my grandma says, he doesn't have enough money to pay for it. The only problem with that claim is that he spends about $60 on a can of workout powder ****. He spends his time either at his job, working out, or sitting at the tv eating. But he doesn't make enough money to even pay my grandparents even a LITTLE bit..?

He doesn't do anything around the house to "make up" for the rent either; all he does SOMETIMES (and with much complaining) is the dishes. A lot of the time, my grandma is left doing them because he puts them off every day. She even does his laundry, cleans up after him, and even heats him up food if he comes home late. She acts like he's my age! It seems like I have a sibling who's the same age as me!!

Secondly, he brought his car over here, but hasn't used it the whole time he's been here. The excuses were endless: He hasn't gotten it fixed yet (after two months of it being broken...) or He needs to put the new license on (after a month of having it..!) or even It's raining outside so he should take my car. What?! He couldn't even be bothered to put his license on the car for at least a month. He also has a bike, but the brakes are broken. So, naturally, it should be left out of the way. But oh no, if it rains they have to bring it in from outside! My granddad even bought him an expensive bike lock. And the bike has been sitting in the dining room for months now. All he has to do is simply move it...

I know some of these things seem trivial and I'm rambling, but I truly do not know what to do, or if I should even try to help at all. My grandma is constantly making excuses for him, while he should be acting like a responsible 38 YEAR OLD adult. I just can't imagine being happy with myself if I was completely dependent upon my grandparents at over 30 years old.

Thanks for taking the time to read this... I'm just so ready to be out of here in 8 months! Sadly, I think I'll be out of this house before my uncle... I'm starting to doubt if he will actually ever leave or become more dependent upon them.
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adult children, enabling, grandparents

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