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Old December 2nd, 2017, 09:01 PM
Nannie1931 Nannie1931 is offline
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Question Said something to hurt someone's feelings

I am a principal at a school and there is one volunteer at my school who is hard working and the volunteer helps out a few days a week. The other day, the volunteer was wearing this bright colorful top and wearing a light up Christmas light up necklace. I thought it was a really bad combination of colors the volunteer was wearing and I actually told the volunteer in a loud voice "That looks horrible!" Looking back on it, I wish I hadn't said anything and the volunteer looked offended and now I am afraid that she will not speak to me or want to help out much in the future. What should I do to try to make amends with the volunteer? I would really feel bad to lose the volunteer because she gets things done efficiently in the school and helps make the school run smoothly.
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Old December 2nd, 2017, 09:13 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Said something to hurt someone's feelings

Oh easy. You should pull the volunteer aside next time you see her and tell her "I feel so badly for blurting out what I did the other day. I should not have used the word "horrible" - the color combination caught me by surprise and threw me for a loop. You looked really festive and I'm very sorry for saying that. Please forgive me."

And do it because you are genuinely sorry for hurting her feelings and not because you just don't want to lose a hard working volunteer. (I'm one of those hard working volunteers... we can tell when we're being schmoozed because someone wants us to do something.)

You never know... maybe that Christmas necklace was a gift from a student and she was wearing it to make the student feel good. I had a particularly hideous "necklace" of a construction paper star on a string that I wore proudly because the little boy who gave it to me did so with such love.
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Old December 3rd, 2017, 05:03 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Said something to hurt someone's feelings

I agree with KayKay to make the apology. I personally would keep it short, "I'm sorry for my rude behavior. It was uncalled for, and please forgive me."

I manage volunteers in an educational setting. I consider them professionals that I don't pay. They are invaluable. And sometimes I can get too familiar with them and let professional boundaries drop, especially since my management style is non-hierarchical. It's lovely when it's good, but there are times when I can kick myself. I make extra effort to let them know how much I value them.
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Old December 4th, 2017, 11:59 AM
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Cremebrulee Cremebrulee is offline
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Re: Said something to hurt someone's feelings

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nannie1931 View Post
I am a principal at a school and there is one volunteer at my school who is hard working and the volunteer helps out a few days a week. The other day, the volunteer was wearing this bright colorful top and wearing a light up Christmas light up necklace. I thought it was a really bad combination of colors the volunteer was wearing and I actually told the volunteer in a loud voice "That looks horrible!" Looking back on it, I wish I hadn't said anything and the volunteer looked offended and now I am afraid that she will not speak to me or want to help out much in the future. What should I do to try to make amends with the volunteer? I would really feel bad to lose the volunteer because she gets things done efficiently in the school and helps make the school run smoothly.
you should never ever, correct anyone in front of people. If anything, bring her into a conf. room or office and tell her nicely that you don't believe that is appropriate....although you might want to check your schools dress codes, b/c if she decided press charges you want to make certain your complaint.

and yes, by all means, please pull her aside and apologize. KayKay is right.
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