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Old April 27th, 2013, 09:38 PM
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What can I do about my younger brother?

Okay, so I am 19 and my brother is 15. We have never gotten along well. All we have done is argue and fight. Now that he is getting older he is swearing am unnecessarily. He has a horrible memory. For instance, this past Thursday, I set 3.50 in coins in the bathroom cabinet. He came in and took it yesterday. I asked him about it today and he blows up in front of my parents about how it's been there a month. My parents go along with him.

He is also extremely messy. But it was to my surprise today when he decided to clean our room. I just let him to see what all he would do. He through away a ton of objects that were sentimental to me, takes the batteries out of my clock and claims them as his, rips my poster off of the wall to replace it with my coin collection, takes out all my clothes I had hanging up in the closet so he could double stack a small bookshelf under the rack when the opposite wall (the closet is about 4x5 feet) didn't have a rack. Then my dad wants to yell at me and cuss me out because I yelled at my brother about moving everything of mine and i have about had it with both of them really. When asked about my memories of home, all I can think of is arguments and contention. Anyone have any advice on how I can deal with all this? This stuff happens all the time and both dad and brother are very mouthy. I am suppose to leave on a mission trip for 2 years in a few months and don't need such contention distracting me from getting ready. Please help
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Old April 28th, 2013, 12:42 AM
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Re: What can I do about my younger brother?

From what you know about your brother, what did you think the out come of these two specific events would be?

a. The coins
b. Cleaning the bedroom.

At 19, is there any way you can NOT share a room with your younger brother? (Can you move out?)
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Old April 28th, 2013, 03:06 AM
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Re: What can I do about my younger brother?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs X View Post
From what you know about your brother, what did you think the out come of these two specific events would be?

a. The coins
b. Cleaning the bedroom.

At 19, is there any way you can NOT share a room with your younger brother? (Can you move out?)
Well, I really want to move out, but like I said, I need to save my money for my mission trip coming up. And the coins, I should admit I should have known better. But the bedroom I had no idea what he would do. He has never actually cleaned it before. I always end up doing it. I know I don't have as much reason to hate on him as some other people here have for their brothers. I want to fix it, I just don't know how
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Old April 28th, 2013, 04:49 AM
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Re: What can I do about my younger brother?

You can only "fix" what you have broken. What can you change about yourself that might trigger these events? I'm not saying his behavior is your fault, but is there something that you are doing that you haven't said?

IMO, it does not matter how long money sits somewhere; if it isn't yours, don't touch it. Taking money that isn't yours is stealing.

The same thing applies to the room--throwing things away that do not belong to you is wrong. He should not have dumped out your clothes or any of those other things.

Do you think this is his way of getting ready for your mission trip? Perhaps he already thinks the room is his for 2 years?
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Old April 29th, 2013, 08:13 AM
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Re: What can I do about my younger brother?

Part of his attitude sounds like he's emulating your father. Are you the only Christian in the house? Children sometimes act out to get attention.
Being an adult, you get to make your own decisions. He may be jealous.
Have you tried sitting down and telling him how you feel?
I feel sure that after 2 years away, you'll see a different kid. You could also talk to your Pastor and see if he has any idea's.
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Old April 29th, 2013, 09:11 AM
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Re: What can I do about my younger brother?

Do you think he might be getting involved in drugs?
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Old April 29th, 2013, 02:29 PM
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Re: What can I do about my younger brother?

We had a young guy staying with us over our summer, the age difference between him and his brother is exactly the same, and the relationship just as difficult. (And they are both fine people, just brothers, and just see the world differently).

At 19, your parents probably expect YOU to behave like an adult in sorting out problems, but you are behaving - very understandably - like a brother. Also, subconsciously probably expect your brother to behave like YOU in sorting out problems, but he is still behaving like a child (because that is what he is emotionally).

I have a younger brother, and all i can tell you is, that they get better as they get older. Give him 3 years, and he will be a half way decent human being!
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