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Old September 29th, 2015, 11:48 PM
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KamyllaB KamyllaB is offline
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Exclamation What To Do

Okay, I'll try to make this as short as I possibly can. As a child I saw my mother almost as I saw God this sweet,kind person. As I grew up i saw her for who she really was my mother was dealt a pretty short stick in her life as a child she was raped multiple times and when she told her mother(which is my grandmother) about it she didn't believe her. She had a lot of horrible things happen to her growing up the reason I know this is because I constantly have had to hear about it every time something happens.

Now growing up I was molested as a child and beat by my step father whom she's still married to today but I was to afraid to tell her so i hid it. my reason for mentioning this is because I didn't allow myself to become the way she has become. My mother is a very Bitter,emotionally selfish,draining, and always negative person. there I said it. it wasn't that bad when I was younger but, now it's awful i'm 22 years old now and i don't even know who she is anymore she always thinks me and my sister are talking about her behind her back. In truth we just confide in one another because we can't talk to her about situations she doesn't like to hear the truth about herself.

We got into an argument just a little while ago because she thinks it's okay to go threw my phone and read my messages. it's not i keep quiet I don't say anything i'm respectful i do whatever is asked of me i'm not working because i help take care of my brother. Her and my step father have a very toxic relationship the fight physically and are always arguing my step father has been in my life since i was five years old i respect him because she loves him but I've never really liked him. He's a rude man who thinks he's better than everyone else everyone is beneath him i graduated high school in 2012.

My step father has called all of us my mother included stupid,idiots,etc any and everything that was done was never enough ever. He's always made me feel like I was supposed to have everything planned out and know what I'm doing. I meant to be so far ahead and in turn that's done all of nothing but make me even more lost. The reason I bring him up is because he affects my mother has for years. she acts just like him now and doesn't even notice it.

My mother snoops threw my things all the times goes threw my phones checks my messages it's really and truly in invasion of my privacy but she thinks that mothers can do whatever they want. I say this because she's said this to me before. there's way more to tell but i just it's so much and probably will be typing up more i'm in school i have my veterinary assistant certificate . Now I'm almost finished with my wildlife conservation schooling but i still managed to get myself trapped with her i don't know where i'm going or where i'm meant to be I pray so much but nothing ever changes i'm not religious but i do believe in God.

I see myself becoming like her more and more shes draining hates anything to do with love i feel like i'm married to her it makes me very uncomfortable my body is tired my soul is exhausted i have no were to go right now i love my baby brother i adore him i'm so in love with him he;s the reason I stay but i'm not his mother. He's only 5 but I want him to know that i'm here he's not completely speaking yet and i truly feel like it's due to the fact that my mother and step father are so dysfunctional but anyway.

My mother is just, i don't know I need help how do I keep my strength until I'm able to leave she's mad at me now because she thinks me and my sister were talking behind her back but i was just venting. Now i feel like i shouldn't talk to her about anything so she doesn't get put in the drama my mother is always bringing to the table..please i'm begging somebody please help me. My mom is only 41 and has given up on life shes so depressed and bitter and upset i just found out not to long ago that she has cervical cancer but she has had it for years and i do mean years.

She kept it a secret from me but my sister told me i prayed and gave it to God that's all I can do not to long ago her and my step father got into a physical fight that resulted in her going to the hospital she was okay physically but mentally i'm not sure. She forgave him but when it comes to me and my sister she holds grudges against me and my sister till the end of time was i wrong? I'm quiet i never really talk and I've never really disrespected her but i just got fed up.

I'm entitled to my privacy i promise i don't ask for anything else. I'm lost and loosing myself...please help..and for the record i didn't disrespect her i know you only get one mother and i'm humble,loving,and respectful when it comes to her but does that make the way she acts okay.....idk
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Old September 30th, 2015, 12:25 AM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: What To Do


You are in an awful situation. I've got so many questions -

First, are you working? You need to get a job, even a part-time one, to start saving money. Get your own phone with your own money, which will remove her right to snoop. You don't even have to tell her about it.

Second, is she receiving treatment for cervical cancer? Not to mistrust her, but if she is not receiving treatment and she has had it for "years" without treatment, she may not be being honest about it. Research Munchausen Syndrome. Your mother is a prime candidate for it.

Third, how old is your sister? Is she out of the house or still living there?

Your mother may have complex mental health issues. There is really nothing you can do except protect yourself and encourage her to seek help. Do you have access to any kind of counseling through school? I really think you need to have a "sane place" to land every so often... someone to talk to.
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Old September 30th, 2015, 12:44 PM
Catwoman Catwoman is offline
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Re: What To Do

Hi Kamylla, I too come from a dysfunctional abusive family in my past. I have lived through many horrible things as a a child like you. I decided to find myself a job and I left home in the end. If you can possibly even move in with a family member even. Is there any help from the govt with accommodation for youth living away from home where you are?.

If you can work out a way of getting out of there that is the answer.
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