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  #11  
Old March 4th, 2013, 01:03 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

sjs, I do not wish to be unkind because you are in so much pain. However, I need to say this to you. Honestly, your post made me unbearably sad - not only because of what your father did, but because of how you defend him and accept blame for his perversion. Some of his rational for what he did - oh my gosh... it is shocking to me that he'd say it and that you'd accept it because he said it!?! I realize it may be partially cultural, but it is still shocking to me.

You are emotionally damaged because of your father. I do not think you are beyond repair, but you need to seek healing. You will not ever be able to do that if you keep putting your father, mother, and brother first.

You have done nothing wrong other than defend your father and care more about him than about yourself.

You need to stop talking to your family. You need distance from their dysfunction to gain a clear insight about what they have done to you.

And you need a counselor. You can not get through this by posting on an anonymous internet forum. We care, but we are no substitute for professional help.
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  #12  
Old March 4th, 2013, 10:19 PM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

I am aware that the online forum isn't a replacement for professional service. But it was helpful to see what outsiders thought about the situation, because I was never able to talk about it. It helped me to realize that I really do need professional help. Thank you for all of your advice.

I did call the counseling service at my university in an attempt to make an appointment with the person that specializes in family issues, but she wasn't available for the next several months. She did suggest to still make a general appointment to go through a brief screening. I went to this counseling service when I was an undergraduate, and it was not helpful at all (and waste of time), which was why I was reluctant about this university service. But hopefully, maybe I'll have a better experience this time.

Edit: Also, you are not unkind at all KayKay. Thanks for your comments.

Last edited by sjs; March 4th, 2013 at 10:26 PM.
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  #13  
Old March 5th, 2013, 05:06 AM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

sjs - you may have to try several councliors before you find one that "fits" you. ((hugs))
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  #14  
Old March 5th, 2013, 07:15 AM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

You may also want to seek counseling services from other places: the local hospital and local church groups may provide counseling on a sliding scale. Also, check with campus ministry or even the infirmary for alternate resources.
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Old March 5th, 2013, 08:29 AM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

Thank you for the update, sjs. I'm glad to know that you will be seeking help in coming to terms with what your father did. I hope the counseling center at the university will be helpful. Don't be afraid to tell them the truth!
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Old March 5th, 2013, 05:28 PM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
Don't be afraid to tell them the truth!

and don't make excuses for it



btw - its ok to get really, really POed and beat/pound a rackette ball (or something like that) to death .... snafu whistles and


and if you break down and cry later, its ok ....(((hugs))) feel free bawl until there are no more tears
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  #17  
Old March 11th, 2013, 08:38 AM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

I'm really sorry to hear about this.

How in the world are you able to continue to see/talk to your father...heck even mother (since she clearly knows). This is extremely disturbing.

I think you should deal with this situation head on.
a) I would probably go to police and press charges. Also I would never speak to my father/mother again......that is simply a line that once crossed/there is no 2nd chance.
b) get counseling help ASAP
c) be careful how you approach this with your current boyfriend. If he finds out and you continue a relationship with your parents......he will have ALL kinds of weird thoughts going thru his head. Anther reason to address this situation vs ignore it/let it build up.
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  #18  
Old March 12th, 2013, 08:57 AM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

I went to the first counseling session this week. Mainly, the counselor just listened to me (there was only 1 hour for our session, and I had a lot to explain). I am eager to find out what my counselor will say.

Thank you so much for taking time to read my posts and giving me support!
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  #19  
Old March 12th, 2013, 10:40 AM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

sjs,

Thank you for the update. You were very brave to go to the counseling session. How did you like your counselor?
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  #20  
Old March 12th, 2013, 03:48 PM
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Re: Sexually molested by father as a teenager

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
sjs,

Thank you for the update. You were very brave to go to the counseling session.
Yes, very brave!
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