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  #31  
Old March 7th, 2009, 09:02 PM
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Re: sooo

yessssssssssssss
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  #32  
Old March 14th, 2009, 06:21 PM
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Re: sooo

Speaking as a father of two sons, 23 &31, plus a 21 daughter, I'd say it sounds like the guy is just too "used to you", he's taking you for granted, you're his "comfy-blanket".
Is that a role you're comfortable with? I know my daughter would dump any bloke who treated her like that, and my sons have been guilty at times, much to my shame. But they got their butts well booted, rightly so!
Stand up for yourself girl, he's only like that because YOU let him. It's so easy to fall into a trap like that, I doubt he even realises it's happening.
I'm not denying your love, or his, but it's never going to progress if you don't start looking after No1, he will almost inevitably meet someone who "excites" him, and you'll lose him anyway, till he breaks with her, and tries to re-use YOU!
Get out and find others to socialise with, let him try to find a time when YOU find it convenient to see him, let him see that you're a person with a life beyond HIM, I'm not suggesting you dump him, though you may well come to that point, just enrich your own life, fill the spaces with laughter and light, then consider him and the situation again. There's nothing like a little perspective to bring new insights!
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  #33  
Old March 15th, 2009, 10:48 PM
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Re: sooo

Quote:
Originally Posted by maximillion View Post
Speaking as a father of two sons, 23 &31, plus a 21 daughter, I'd say it sounds like the guy is just too "used to you", he's taking you for granted, you're his "comfy-blanket".
Is that a role you're comfortable with? I know my daughter would dump any bloke who treated her like that, and my sons have been guilty at times, much to my shame. But they got their butts well booted, rightly so!
Stand up for yourself girl, he's only like that because YOU let him. It's so easy to fall into a trap like that, I doubt he even realises it's happening.
I'm not denying your love, or his, but it's never going to progress if you don't start looking after No1, he will almost inevitably meet someone who "excites" him, and you'll lose him anyway, till he breaks with her, and tries to re-use YOU!
Get out and find others to socialise with, let him try to find a time when YOU find it convenient to see him, let him see that you're a person with a life beyond HIM, I'm not suggesting you dump him, though you may well come to that point, just enrich your own life, fill the spaces with laughter and light, then consider him and the situation again. There's nothing like a little perspective to bring new insights!

i know what your saying,and your compltely right, some things about all this are hard to explain though.
like i see him about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes not at all. he just doesnt understand that when hes with me, i want him to actually "spend time" with me. not just have me sit there while he eats, or is on the internet, or doing other things. but anything i suggest is nah, dunno, nah dont feel like it.
but then when we fight, and i say this isnt the way im doing this, he walks away, then i go home, and like an hour later rings or msgs me. and i know im the one takin him back.
i just dunno how to make him see how he really is. because i think your right, he doesnt really see what hes doing.
koz at the moment, its pretty much just pushing me away..
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  #34  
Old March 16th, 2009, 12:48 AM
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Re: sooo

I think you need to stay 'gone' for a while...a good while.

Its too easy for him...he does know by now that you will take him back.


Have a go...its worth a try but as Max said...fill your time with other things,
do nice things for yourself but KEEP AWAY!

Fellas should not need to find you hard to get .. THIS fella does
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  #35  
Old March 16th, 2009, 02:24 AM
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Re: sooo

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
i know what your saying,and your compltely right, some things about all this are hard to explain though.
like i see him about once a week, sometimes more, sometimes not at all. he just doesnt understand that when hes with me, i want him to actually "spend time" with me. not just have me sit there while he eats, or is on the internet, or doing other things. but anything i suggest is nah, dunno, nah dont feel like it.
but then when we fight, and i say this isnt the way im doing this, he walks away, then i go home, and like an hour later rings or msgs me. and i know im the one takin him back.
i just dunno how to make him see how he really is. because i think your right, he doesnt really see what hes doing.
koz at the moment, its pretty much just pushing me away..
Start spending some serious time looking in the mirror, look yourself right in the eyes, and THINK! It sounds possibly like you have a confidence problem, else why allow him to walk all over you?
Try getting some female friends together, and go out and PARTY, meet some guys, see the way they react to you, BELIEVE in yourself!
If he really loves and values you, he'll come a'running, if he doesn't, well, at least you'll know where you stand. Besides which, you may just meet the guy who WILL treasure you, for yourself, so give yourself the opportunity to find out!
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  #36  
Old March 16th, 2009, 02:41 AM
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Re: sooo

well one thing, i dont drink..sooo the whole partying thing it out of it haha.
but honestly think about it, im young, think back to when you were my age, none of you were in a situation like this, knowing that no one else knew how you truely felt except yourself?
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  #37  
Old March 16th, 2009, 05:08 AM
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Re: sooo

Ah hon...I know how it must looks...smug oldies telling it as they think

We were all here probably in a situation where one was more involved than the other in a relationship and either we did the right thing then and there or realised long afterwards what would have been a lot better to ie . walk away


Its never easy to put an old wise head on young shoulders.

You should realise that you are MUCH too good to be messed around.
Fellas dont seem to appreciate girls who let them pick them up and drop them again.

All I am saying is appreciate yourself and give going walkies a try for a period.

I have a son of your age.
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  #38  
Old March 16th, 2009, 05:26 AM
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Re: sooo

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacey View Post
he just doesnt understand that when hes with me, i want him to actually "spend time" with me. not just have me sit there while he eats, or is on the internet, or doing other things... he doesnt really see what hes doing.

I've been there (where you're at) - let me put it this way, think about it - where are you on his list of priorities? If you're not near the top - I'd advise that you get out now. With my ex I started out at the top of his priorities, then I ended up losing ground to the internet, computer games, his friends, etc....

I finally wised up once it got to the point that the lowest on his list of priorities was our DS and me.
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