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Old July 3rd, 2012, 10:50 AM
Frustratedmom Frustratedmom is offline
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Angry Just need to vent

Ok where do I start? I'm currently on bed rest because of pregnancy. I'm 34 weeks and hoping to make it to 36 or so. At the beggining of the summer my mom moved in because she was living in the college dorms while she was in school (yeah I know how unusual, nothing is normal in my life.) but when she's not in school she has no where to live (long story short she was a stay at home mom her whole life till my evil father left and now she is starting over so college is the best option).
Anyway, my mom has alot of issues, I think she's ADD and some level of autism. She cannot organize anything or keep ANY kind of regular rutine. She hords usless items and cannot keep anything clean because of it. She is also just plain lazy. Oh yeah and I think she is also bipolor, it tuns in her family and she will just attack you out of no where and is very paranoid.
It's all just getting very over whelming. She was sopposed to get a job this summer and she STILL doesn't have one. I've filled out more applications for her then she has for herself, and she gets mad when I do! She's like "Don't be picking out jobs for me, blah blah blah. You'd think she would be appritiative, she's ALWAYS complaining about not having money (I don't know WHY when she's staying here RENT FREE since she has no job).
Then there is the fact that she's constinlt critisizing me about how I raise my son, how I want my house run, etc. I mean if she's not going to get a job can't she atleast helpout around the house, esp since I'm on bedrest and can't do anything!!! I'm not saying she never doesn anything, but she doesnt do much. She can't even maintain the house when it's clean. It would take maybe 1 hour a day too keep the downstairs clean!!! I want my house clean and organized when my baby comes, is that too much to ask?!?
Then there is my oldest sister who moved in a month or so ago. She's like 31 and her dream would be to live in a van down by the river, but she cannot afford even that. She needs to be on disability. She is definitly autistic, but was never diagnosed since we were homeschooled. She's not the "classic" autistic, but definitly on the scale. It's bad enough that it effects her daily life. Most people just think she is really wierd, and its down right embarrissing because she reads all this crazy stuff and then wants to force her opinion on everyone around her. At least she has a job, they just have not started her yet. But she contributes even less around the house. She will literlly live with piles of trash around her and NOT CARE!!! So she gets really annoyed when I ask her to do any kind of chore, and doesn't understand that chores need doing everyday (and since she's not working yet, that's really not too much to ask!!!) She littlery lays around and sleeps all day. She complians about having no evergy, but you have to get some exorsize to have some energy, and you know what sometimes you just have to do things you don't like or don't feeel like doing!!! I think that's my mom's and sister's problem is they just refuse to do anything they don't want or feel like doing. How do they think the rest of the world does anything? Do they just think I LOVE sweeping, mopping, and all other house chores??? I just wish they'd grow freaking UP!!!

Oh and I have no idea when they will be moving out since my sister has no ambition and mom won't be going to the dorms since she is changing schools
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Old July 3rd, 2012, 11:25 AM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Just need to vent


Wow, I don't even know where to begin with that. How sad that you are the parent to your mother who is not unable to care for herself.

I have lots of ideas swirling around (mostly about your sister) but I think the MOST important thing at this point is to concentrate on bringing a healthy baby into the world. First get through the next month or so with your new baby (congratulations, by the way!) and THEN concentrate on lighting a fire under your mom and sister.

Nothing much to contribute from me, I'm afraid... I just wanted to let you know I was "listening" and hope things get better for you.
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Old July 3rd, 2012, 02:14 PM
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JemStar JemStar is offline
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Re: Just need to vent

WO! (and another GULP!!) If there were ever an award for someone that cares about her family - you would def get it. I do feel you are amazing for what you are allowing in your life - if that helps at all. I do mean it.

I suspect a bit of depression for your sis - is there any way to get her to take some fish oil caps? NOT A JOKE. I am way into health and those helped my dh and my dd a few times. Camomile tea (make it iced, she won't even know) it is very calming. Give mom some, too. Maybe push her to waitressing where some of the other students work? Fast cash - and she will know some of the people? I don't know.

Where were they before your place? Any income at all? Assistance of some type? I would have a serious talk with the sister about having her diagnosed so there can be care for her. If not, she has 10 days to find a new place. I just have a feeling you will be taking care of them as well as your new baby...which will be ALOT of work on you.

You could always print your post and leave it forgotten about on the table?

Hope things improve SOON!!
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Old July 7th, 2012, 08:31 AM
nebulous nebulous is offline
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Re: Just need to vent

Hi frustrated... are you single? Do you have any more family nearby? My mom is VERY similar to yours... cant motivate and complains about things she COULD change but doesnt take steps to and when I try to intervene she also, instead of being appreciative, attacks me. I used to clean up after her all the time (she used to leave dirty dishes all over the house then we got ants and her response was: "Its just ant time of year" :roll eyes: (BTW sidenote here: a great non-toxic way to get rids of ants... just flick them with your fingers when you see them for a few days but not hard enough to kill them.. word spreads fast in ant communities! They havent been back in weeks now!)

How long have your mom and sis lived with you now?
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