I can't stop hating my brother?:(

[Bebyouna95]

So I am 18, and my brother is 24. We've never really gotten along, but recently, for a few months, I just can't seem to stand him. When we were younger we use to get into horrible fights, but haven't really fought in a while. Though, the problem now is me. Every time my brother talks to me? Harmless conversation, I automatically feel annoyed. I know that I am the problem but I don't no why I feel this way. I truly wish I didn't but I can't help it. Anything he says to, I just want him to stop talking to me and I feel like I have to put so much effort into trying to talk to him and respond nicely when all I want to do is get him to leave me alone. This causes many problems as he gets very upset when I respond rudely to him but I can't help it. Anything e says to me, i just feel annoyed even if its the smallest question. Something inside of me just seems to hate him and I want it to stop. I have 3 other siblings to who I talk to comfortably and happily. I wish I could figure out why I feel this way towards my brother. I just wish he would stop trying to talk to me...

[snafu]

sorry, some people just rub you the wrong way.


is he the oldest of your siblings?

could it be that he used to be bossy or was "in charge" and now that your older you automacially respond as if he's telling you what to do or as if he's critical?


I was guilty of feeling as if my DM was criticizing me when DS was born & I'd talk to her about him. I even realized it, but it didn't stop my emotional response . I talked with a co-worker, whose grandson was born 2 months before DS & she could tell me the exact same thing as DM, but I didn't respond in the same manner.

[KayKay]

I don't think you've been able to put the horrible fights behind you, to be honest. He seems to have, but you were younger and probably much more affected by the fights.

[Knot2loud]

Your relationship with your brother will never start to heal until you decide to forgive him for whatever your issues are with your brother. Then you can move forward with a different attitude towards him.

I didn't get along with my brother for years (he's 5 years my senior) when I was your age. To put it nicely... I didn't like him. Time passed, he married, I was in the military. I put all those problems I had with him behind me.

I was about 25 or so when we started to get along really good.

Fast forward to present day...

Our relationship as brothers couldn't be better.

If your looking for positive advice to begin building a good relationship with your brother... Forgive him. Put those ill feelings you have towards him behind you. This doesn't mean you have to take any abuse - if that happens, be honest and tell him how you feel.

I hope you can come to terms with the issues you have with your brother.

I wish you the best.