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Old November 18th, 2012, 12:41 AM
akito94 akito94 is offline
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Trying to help Sis

My elder sister is 25.
We come from a pretty conservative family. My mum is strict with us (we were not allowed to have boyfriends) and both of us were in an all-girls school. Sis used to be quite an outstanding student in school—she had good grades, was a prefect, etc—until she entered a foreign university. I think she started to lose her confidence there as her grades started to drop, although she eventually graduated with first class honors.

Right now, she's working as a dentist in another state which is far away from home. However, she seems so unsure of herself and has no confidence in everything she does.

1. She's not that good at her work. There are certain things at work which she is not good at, but she doesn't really take an initiative to learn.

2. She's not confident with her looks. My sister has put on a bit of weight before starting work and recently, she started having acne on her face. While she is not fat, I did suggest her to exercise (for a healthier lifestyle). Instead she keeps giving excuses like, the gym equipment in her place is not working, she has no time, or she can't do sit-ups.

3. She feels lonely. My sister never had a boyfriend, even until now. I don't know why she suddenly feels pressured to have a boyfriend. She has pretty strong feelings for a guy right now, but he isn't that interested in her (he gives her mix signals). The truth is, they barely know each other and there's a bit of a language barrier between them (He can't really speak English). At first I thought it was just a crush but she can't seem to get over him, even after he got transferred to another city. I know it takes time, but they haven't even started dating yet!

How can I help her? Mum and dad has tried talking to her before, but they can't get through her. Any advice? I think one of the major reasons why she feels so down is because she thinks she can't get boyfriend.
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Old November 18th, 2012, 10:21 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Trying to help Sis

Your desire to help your sister is commendable. However, you really can't help her. She needs to help herself. Until she is ready to seek help, be careful to NEVER criticize her and avoid all "suggestions" unless she asks for them, and be very generous with sincere compliments.

Good luck to you and your sister.
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