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Old April 2nd, 2016, 08:42 PM
Nee Nee is offline
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My family... Judgemental people sigh

My family is very judgemental and my sister agrees. It is mostly the women who are like bullies(mum and 2 aunts, sometimes one man), I guess them being influenced by society.

They would compare you to others just because you don't wax at age 10-11 or know how to put on makeup. This would often lead to verbal abuse which are emotionally painful, saying how ugly you are, making comments on your acne (for many years) and hair. Being pressurised, they got me to wax my eyebrowns etc cause they kept going on about it being a jungle. Once done, they were so happy, saying it looks so much better and it makes me happy. I guess my relationships with them at home made me eat little about 2 years ago which led to severe anemia which mum didn't seem to care about me til I was diagnosed with it. They made fun of me being 'fat' and inheriting my mother's big nose although I'm completely normal weight.

It just seems my mum is picking on me, wanting me to think in a certain way with the questions she asked, which I know because when those sisters gossip, they often mention if they like it or not. She once said she knew everything about me but oh she was so wrong, me proving she didn't such as choosing my GCSE options and activities I attend. Very controlling, forcing religion onto me, although I just want to believe in Jesus. No denomination as there is corruption.

Luckily, I turned out very fine out side home, having tons of friends who I love and love me. However I am different at home. There's no way to tell them of their ways due to their arroganance and so they often make me feel bad. Mum and I have a complicated relationship, and I would avoid her often at home as it may escalate to an argument very easily then to a slap. Family is a big thing to them, especially being a big one, mums sisters family living together too so sometimes you don't get the right attention. I noticed some negative behaviour in the other kids using violence.

In a way I guess I love my mum, me shedding tears when she was in a car accident but luckily no injuries. Maybe she finds it hard to show emotions, mostly through materialism.
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Old April 2nd, 2016, 08:58 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: My family... Judgemental people sigh

How old are you? How long until you can move out into your own home?
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Old April 3rd, 2016, 02:58 AM
Nee Nee is offline
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Re: My family... Judgemental people sigh

15 and won't be moving out any time till university
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Old April 3rd, 2016, 03:14 AM
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Annsdil Annsdil is offline
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Re: My family... Judgemental people sigh

Do you have any counsellors or mentors at your school? If you do then try and get assigned to one. They will be able to help you put coping mechanisms in place to deal with this. They may also look at family counseling for you or help you make your situation safe.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It is not nice but you must remember that people who are mean to you in this way, even family members are doing so because of problems with themselves not because of you.
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Old April 3rd, 2016, 07:25 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: My family... Judgemental people sigh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annsdil View Post
Do you have any counsellors or mentors at your school? If you do then try and get assigned to one. They will be able to help you put coping mechanisms in place to deal with this. They may also look at family counseling for you or help you make your situation safe.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It is not nice but you must remember that people who are mean to you in this way, even family members are doing so because of problems with themselves not because of you.
I second this!

I don't know your background, but I suspect this is a cultural thing. Women who have had very restrictive and controlled lives attempt to feel a level of control by trying to control younger women who are subject to them.

Avoiding your mother and being a different person at home is your coping mechanism. That shows how intelligent and how strong you are! You love your mother and, at the same time, you want to survive and be as healthy emotionally as you can be. As you get older and more independent, you will probably come to pity the lives your mother and her sisters had to live, and you will be glad that you escaped it.
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