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  #11  
Old August 18th, 2013, 10:44 PM
AlbertaCowboy AlbertaCowboy is offline
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Re: Breaking Ties with Parents

I'm so glad people here understand. I have always remained silent, and in the situation in the past. I always feared not being believed. It takes me forever to get close to people, and unfortunately I have often been in relationships that are toxic. I just want the cycle to stop. I have decided the only way I will talk to my family from now on, is if they get counselling...as a family.
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  #12  
Old August 19th, 2013, 03:13 PM
sjs sjs is offline
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Re: Breaking Ties with Parents

I've also cut off ties with my parents (relatively recently, 6 months ago).

It was very sad and painful at first, mainly because I was worried about my mom, worried that I am being a bad daughter, and making bad decisions, etc.

When I found out that both of my parents actually don't care about my well-being at all (they are much more worried about protecting their fake "happy" family and image), the emotional burden of being a bad daughter sort of went away and I feel better these days.
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  #13  
Old August 20th, 2013, 06:46 AM
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Re: Breaking Ties with Parents

AlbertaCowboy... Keep your chin up and go forward. I'll cheer you on from the esidelines.

sjs... I offer you the same well-wish and i'll be cheering you on from the esidelines too.
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  #14  
Old August 21st, 2013, 06:08 AM
AlbertaCowboy AlbertaCowboy is offline
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Re: Breaking Ties with Parents

Quote:
Originally Posted by sjs View Post

When I found out that both of my parents actually don't care about my well-being at all (they are much more worried about protecting their fake "happy" family and image), the emotional burden of being a bad daughter sort of went away and I feel better these days.

Funny you should mention that. That sounds EXACTLY like my parents, especially my father, who goes around trying almost in vain, to convince people we are this happy family, when we are highly dysfunctional.

An example would be my parents, especially my father bragging to relatives about when I was an elite athlete during high school, and how proud he was of me. The problem with that is, it's simply not true. He never went to any of my competitions, refused to help out the team in fundraisers, and often told me to "quit wasting your time with this sport" and to "get a job" even going as far as to say "why are you hurting the family, by training in the evening, instead of spending time with us" and when I did "spend time" with him, he would not want me around. It was a no-win situation.

Yet, when we went to extended family functions, he would always tell other family members about how much I trained, and how impressed he was with me. I am not going to repeat this behavior with my children, as I tell them I will be proud of them as long as they try at whatever they do, and to do what makes them happy.
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  #15  
Old August 25th, 2013, 07:19 AM
AlbertaCowboy AlbertaCowboy is offline
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Re: Breaking Ties with Parents

I apologize for rambling on. It's getting better now, but it's just sad things will never be the same. I guess, I will just have to pray to God, and help others out to make myself feel better. There are greater tragedies in life.
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  #16  
Old August 25th, 2013, 12:46 PM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Breaking Ties with Parents

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlbertaCowboy View Post
I apologize for rambling on. It's getting better now, but it's just sad things will never be the same. I guess, I will just have to pray to God, and help others out to make myself feel better. There are greater tragedies in life.
No need to apologize. We are hear to listen. Also, do not minimize the pain you feel. There may be greater tragedies than the loss of family, but that doesn't mean the pain you are feeling isn't real or tragic.

Helping others is a good way to heal though, to turn your negative into a positive. Well done!
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  #17  
Old August 25th, 2013, 01:07 PM
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Re: Breaking Ties with Parents

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlbertaCowboy View Post
It's getting better now, but it's just sad things will never be the same.
Let's see... you're now clean and sober and being an involved, responsible, loving parent to your daughter. Um, maybe "not the same" isn't all that sad after all!!
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