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  #11  
Old December 18th, 2014, 12:04 AM
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Re: Mom Nightmares

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Originally Posted by Mrs X View Post

You have a lot on your plate at the moment, some really exciting if you have a concert!!! - Some that maybe you need to deal with when you have time, particularly the work situation.

Good luck for Sunday, sending good vibes....
Thank you for your kind words!
I've already made an effort with my job situation. I told my boss I will no longer work for him, so he's looking for my replacement. And the concert I'm so stoked about. It'll be my first time singing for realsies
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  #12  
Old December 18th, 2014, 06:25 AM
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Re: Mom Nightmares

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I am a firm believer in paying attention to your dreams, because they are your psyche trying to solve problems in your waking world.

I absolutely believe you ought to work this out with a counselor. Try to figure out a pattern to when your mom appears in your dreams (i.e. are you doing something particular in your dreams) and go from there.
I absolutely agree with this.
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When stressed, I tend to dream that someone i have some responsibility for (eg. my pets, my child) is the victim of abuse. In my dreams, it is not always obvious to me whether i'm part of the violence, or powerless to stop it. Anyway, the point is that while the dream itself is disturbing, it is not real. What is real, is i need to take a step back, and either reduce the stress, or live through it if it is time dependent.
Yes! I have been caught off guard by my frustration, anger and violence in my dreams. I have also connected those dreams to stress and the pressure to be the perfect mother/daughter/DIL/employee...

Tcvan, if you are not satisfied with your current therapist, I strongly encourage you to find another. It takes time to find the right one, and sometimes you outgrow the one you've been working with. We are here for you, but no one on a volunteer message board can replace a real-life expert. (((Hugs)))
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Old December 18th, 2014, 06:54 AM
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Re: Mom Nightmares

Try not to dwell on bad things in your past. It's difficult - we're human beings. Even though it's in our nature to think of bad things that has happened to us in the past. It's equally in our nature to think of the good things that have happened and what we want to happen. To me it's a mental game... Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad...

Stay active with positive things like you do with your singing. Anything positive helps.

You stated you don't really want to talk to your therapist... Well, hopefully you can get past that because it's probably a really good idea that you do talk to your therapist. Or someone who has some expertise in counseling.
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Old December 18th, 2014, 04:42 PM
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Re: Mom Nightmares

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Originally Posted by Knot2loud View Post
Try not to dwell on bad things in your past. It's difficult - we're human beings. Even though it's in our nature to think of bad things that has happened to us in the past. It's equally in our nature to think of the good things that have happened and what we want to happen. To me it's a mental game... Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad...

Stay active with positive things like you do with your singing. Anything positive helps.

You stated you don't really want to talk to your therapist... Well, hopefully you can get past that because it's probably a really good idea that you do talk to your therapist. Or someone who has some expertise in counseling.
It's not like I sit and think about all the bad stuff. I usually just focus on my day or music. It's only recently that my mom has been entering my dreams. And it's not like I don't like my therapist. I don't know.
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Old December 18th, 2014, 05:53 PM
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Re: Mom Nightmares

Well, even if you like your therapist, you don't feel like "it helps" (you said earlier). That's a sign that it might be time for a change of therapists.
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  #16  
Old December 19th, 2014, 06:45 PM
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Re: Mom Nightmares

I had a very abusive mother, even though I spent most of my time possible with another family, my biological mother left a grave impact on my life….and I had the same dreams for many years, waking up yelling at her, b/c she was hitting me.

I’ve cut her out of my life completely now, only about oh, two years ago…had to, however, haven’t had those dreams since.
I believe a child is forever looking for approval from their parents, although my mother was like yours, and always put me down. Turned out she was jealous of me, and literally hated her daughter. She spoke to everyone she met of what a terrible child I was and daughter.

When I finally concluded that nothing I could do would ever change things, my life changed.

Always remember, you are here for a very special reason and your significance in this world is like none other. We all have a purpose and a journey to conclude here, no matter how difficult, as each and every trial and tribulation makes us stronger.

Learn to like yourself, despite what your mother acted out…..you have wonderful qualities deep within you that no one else has….develop them and be that special person and know, in your heart, that some people simply shouldn’t be parents.

Hugs
Creme
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  #17  
Old December 19th, 2014, 07:37 PM
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Re: Mom Nightmares

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cremebrulee View Post
I had a very abusive mother, even though I spent most of my time possible with another family, my biological mother left a grave impact on my life….and I had the same dreams for many years, waking up yelling at her, b/c she was hitting me.

I’ve cut her out of my life completely now, only about oh, two years ago…had to, however, haven’t had those dreams since.
I believe a child is forever looking for approval from their parents, although my mother was like yours, and always put me down. Turned out she was jealous of me, and literally hated her daughter. She spoke to everyone she met of what a terrible child I was and daughter.

When I finally concluded that nothing I could do would ever change things, my life changed.

Always remember, you are here for a very special reason and your significance in this world is like none other. We all have a purpose and a journey to conclude here, no matter how difficult, as each and every trial and tribulation makes us stronger.

Learn to like yourself, despite what your mother acted out…..you have wonderful qualities deep within you that no one else has….develop them and be that special person and know, in your heart, that some people simply shouldn’t be parents.

Hugs
Creme
Thank you sweetie. Yes, I've already accepted that I can't change my mother. I think the problem within is that I'm having trouble forgiving her (as much as I don't want to admit it), and the anger is building up.

Like, I'm adopted. I was born in Paraguay. When my mom would get mad at me she would say, "I should send you back to Paraguay" or "I never should have adopted you. I know she didn't mean it but it still hurt. Even now when I think about it it's still hurts.

Since I left turn though I've been learning to like myself more. Once in a while I'll have a breakdown and I'll keep myself, but it's usually short and I'm better within a day or so.
Thank you so much for your experience!
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