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Old November 28th, 2014, 10:25 PM
bobkyle bobkyle is offline
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Unhappy Should I continue a relationship with my mother?

Recently I moved in with my grandparents in order to get away from my mother and finish junior and senior year of high school.

Growing up, my mom and I had an amazing relationship. My parents divorced when I was 3, and even though they were separated, I was content. I never had friends until middle school because my mom and I constantly (at leasat 9 times) moved in with her new boyfriends, fiancees, or husbands. But I was happy because I had her and my dog. My mom was amazing: funny, kind, loving.

But during middle school, she was with a man who was physically abusive to her and verbally abusive to me. They had a baby together, but the abuse didn't stop. At first, he seemed nice, but he ended up to be an evil person. During this time, my mom and I got closer. She finally left him, and we moved in with a friend of her's.

I think because she had me at 19, she didn't really get to be alone and be social like a single girl in her 20s would. So when she finally got freedom (although she had a 2 year old child and me...) she ran with it. She and her friend would stay out entire weekends with me or my aunt watching my sister. Or they would invite friends over and drink until 4 or 5 AM. Many times I heard some people having sex in the room next to me, and if I texted my mom that I felt uncomfortable, she'd just yell at me to go to sleep and calm down. We stopped hanging out, and I began to spend more time in my room or running with my puppy. I felt scared on the weekends when I went to my dad's because I didn't trust her to feed my two dogs.

I told my dad about what was going on, but he lives in an area with not-so-good schools, and we don't have money for a private school. He'd pick me up if I was in need, especially when the abuse began. At least, I think it was abuse. My sister has behavior problems (due to bad parenting...) and if I "made her upset," my mom would get into my face, yell at me, call me a *****, and threaten to slap/punch me. She never actually did, but I wouldn't put it past her.

So my dad gave me the option to move across the country to live with my grandparents (his parents), and I jumped at that opportunity. Since I've moved here, I haven't really talked to my mom. The main reason why is this: I took my puppy with me but left my childhood dog (who is an old lady dog now) with her, which was a mistake. Last summer, I went back to visit, and found out through my sister that my dog is missing. My dog was OLD. She didn't require much, just being fed and walked. And she was a stray before we found her, now god knows where she is. My mother NEVER told me this, and I cried the rest of the week that I was there. That dog means everything to me, and she didn't even tell me herself. My fear is that she simply got rid of my dog - she did that many times when I was little. Hamsters, fish, gerbils, and cats all just went "missing." And not once did she say anything about it except "oh yeah" after she asked my grandma (her mom) why I was crying. I didn't talk to her after that and am still seriously considering cutting ties, of course I'd talk to her, just not often, with her because I can't bring myself to want to be around her.

I'm sorry this post is so long, there's just so many things that I've kept bottled up and need to be expressed to someone.
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Old November 28th, 2014, 10:42 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Should I continue a relationship with my mother?

You amaze me. You have such a good head on your shoulders. I am so sorry about the loss of your dog.

Your mom was a child herself when she had you, and unprepared to be a mother. Someday you will be able to forgive her and accept who she is, but for now the person to concentrate on is YOU.

Do you have a school counselor you could talk to?
Expecto Patronum!
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