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Old September 27th, 2019, 02:31 PM
rattlesnake rattlesnake is offline
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Re: Things have certainly changed

Snafu and Crembrulee,

Thanks for your words of wisdom. The thing is most of what I posted in response to Crumbrulee's thread is old news. This happened over the past year and I most certainly did get myself to a counselor (actually a couple of different ones, both helpful). The things going on were too intense and extreme for me to want to share it here so I mostly stopped sharing and sought professional counseling.

And believe it or not, I did get my son to participate in at least minimal counseling/mediation with me as well.

It is a weird situation because things got worse before they got better and I've left an awful lot out, for many reasons, not the least of which, this was not my thread and I don't mean to take away from it. PM me if you want to know more.

But yes, I think the "punishments" they were imposing on the children were extreme and alarming. Things got so bad I was sure my son would never speak to me again but now he is talking to me again! We really don't talk about her and I guess we are agreeing to mostly not talk about her. He asked me once (sarcastically) in the heat of things if I just thought he should get divorced. I said no, but I do think she needs counseling and I think that he needs to stand firm about some things. We are not talking about what color to paint their kitchen; we are talking about far more serious things and yes she has made large strides to completely isolate him from his family.

Just a few months ago he and his wife were going to great lengths to keep his kids from me and trying to force his ex wife to agree that we needed his and his wife's "pre-approval" before I could see the kids on his ex wife's time. Fortunately the bio mom has assured me that she will never keep those kids from me, and this is now made clear to them so I think they mostly stopped trying that angle.

Well, I will skip the details but I did not take that lying down (when they were trying to keep the kids from me) and now ironically, he is talking to me again, AND is allowing me to see the kids as much as I always have (which is a lot; I helped raise them their whole lives). One of my counselors predicted he would not stay mad long because he always "needs something."

So at the point I am writing this, I'm just telling the story, not really venting or anything like that. I have accepted that his wife hates me. It is sad and unfortunate but there is nothing I can do about it. I am happy my son still talks to me and I am still see my grandchildren often.
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Old November 12th, 2019, 11:18 AM
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snafu snafu is offline
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Re: Things have certainly changed

Been thinking of you and your family.

Best wishes
once burned, twice shy

He who ignores history is condemed to repeat it!
(it also means you weren't smart enough to learn from your mistakes )
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