Jokes and other miscellaneous stuff that may or may not make you smile or laugh.

[Knot2loud]

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Kansas Jayhawk. She asks her students to raise their hands if they're Jayhawks too. Not really knowing what a Jayhawk is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Jayhawk." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" "Why I'm a Missouri Tiger," boasts the little girl. The teacher is perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a rebel. "Well, my mom and dad are Tigers, so I'm a Tiger too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Jayhawk."

[KayKay]

So Aggie jokes are adaptable to other conferences.... (or vice versa). Good to know.

[Knot2loud]

Yep. I'm a Tiger.

[Lizzie]

...and over here I haven't a clue what you are talking about )

[snafu]

Lizzie - college teams

(I've been an Illini, a panther, and..... )

[Knot2loud]

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

.................................................. .........................

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears
6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the
Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law
1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize
control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend
5.0-program .These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband
1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!

Tech Support

[Knot2loud]

Originally Posted by Lizzie

...and over here I haven't a clue what you are talking about )

Football, basketball, baseball at Universities. Kansas, Missouri, etc...

Are you a Cougar?

[Brownie]

I'm a K-State Wildcat.

[Knot2loud]

Turn up the volume...


http://www.terrisfp1.com/holidays/chick.html

[Knot2loud]

...and here I thought Smith Holton simply told a joke I didn't understand. Turns out to be a spammer advertising a carpet cleaning business... so the link says, but I don't click on spam links so I don't know for sure.

Whatever the case... go away spammer! Shoo...