Can I play, too?

[LucyVanPelt]

I have been walking/running for several years now, and recently women have been asking if they can walk with me. It's pretty interesting.

Making new friends at any age is hard. Maybe this is how women my age ask, "Can I play, too?"

Anyway, I have now taken to asking some of them if they'd like to do lunch. When I did this today, the woman said, "Oh, I would love that. I'm always happy to see you because I think I can talk to you about anything."

First, what a compliment. Second, I often think the same of her. Third, it makes me wonder how many friendships I may have zoomed by when trying to get my steps in.

My question is: As adults, how do we make new friends?

[Knot2loud]

That's a good question. I don't really know. I have friends, but no one I actually do anything with. It has literally been decades since I have had a friend over or gone someplace with a friend. Oddly enough, I really don't care. I'm generally to busy doing something - anything. Some kind of project... When I do have downtime I just relax. I have old friends I have known for years and I will call them periodically. That's about it. Going out and making a new friend? <Shrug> I guess that just isn't going to happen.

[snafu]

Lucy, I think you're right ... Its the adult version of can I play

[Annsdil]

I make friends through my kids now! Have done so for the last 15 years!

My best friend and I met through the post natal group we went to when DS was new born. Her dd and my DS have known each other longer than anyone. Even though they moved away when the kids were young, every time we come together it's as though the kids have never been apart.

I don't know that I have made any friends in my own right since having kids. I have become more connected with friends of the past or acquaintances in recent years because we have shared experiences in relationship breakdowns.

I think it's fabulous that you have done something for yourself and made friends out of a mutual interest. Better still, because it's something you have done on your own you will have been your authentic self; not thought about making an impression on anyone, and that has obviously shone through and attracted those people to you! This is a really good way to make friends!

[KayKay]

Ditto to what Annsdil said!

Since my kids have graduated from high school, I'm finding that I am getting in contact with parents that I always liked from their school but didn't have time to forge a friendship with. I usually have to do the asking, but I always get an "I'd love to!" and I now have a number of friends that I go to lunch with during the week.