Grandson being abused

[treasures4u1]

Hi everyone. I have a situation with my son in law. My daughter is 29 yrs old and my SIL is 31. They have a son age 9(not his), 2 daughters age 2 and 4 (his). He is lazy, self centered, angry, abusive, selfish. He treats my grandson terribly. He treats the girls like they are little angels and never can do wrong. He doesn't work a steady job and I think that my daughter is afraid of him as well. My grandson has ADHD and he gets abused by this man. One time my grandson wanted more milk in his cereal and my SIL got angry with him and threw a metal box at his head. He went to school and told his teacher and she called CPS. They came out and interviewed everyone. When they interviewed me I told them that he had anger issues and they did NOTHING! As the grandmother, It breaks my heart to see my grandson treated this way. I don't know what to do. Someone please help me on what my rights are. I have talked to my SIL and my daughter until I am blue in the face.

[LucyVanPelt]

I am so sorry for you and your GS. There is very little you can do legally if CPS has made a determination that there was no abuse in this case. I suggest you document everything and let your GS know you are there for him. Also, be aware that the girls are also suffering abuse if they are witnessing these angry outbursts. All 3 children need your loving kindness.

Children are most likely to be abused by the man who is NOT their father. Where is the boy's father?

[treasures4u1]

I do realize that all 3 are being abused. The father signed him over so that is not an option. Although I do not want to raise small children again, I would love to have custody of these kids. It is SO breaking my heart.

[KayKay]

Originally Posted by treasures4u1

I have talked to my SIL and my daughter until I am blue in the face.

I'd be careful with this. The more you voice your disapproval, the more likely you'll be pushed away. That's the last thing in the world the kids need. About the only thing I can think of is to be a constant, steady source of love for not just the kids but for the whole family. If you aren't being disapproving, it'd be more likely that your daughter would come to you if she needs help.

Do you have the name and phone number of the caseworker who interviewed you? Maybe you can call him/her and ask if there's any follow up that they'd like from you.

[LucyVanPelt]

Originally Posted by KayKay

Do you have the name and phone number of the caseworker who interviewed you? Maybe you can call him/her and ask if there's any follow up that they'd like from you.

This is a good suggestion. As a mandated reporter, I can and do ask for follow-ups. In my area, even when there is not a finding for abuse, the complaint remains on file for a year and there is some follow-up.

Have you consulted a family law attorney in your area? And maybe a family therapist that can help you help the children? Even a google search might help with some pointers. (((hugs))) to you and the children.

[Knot2loud]

Child abuse of any kind is sad. My heart goes out to you. I would talk to the case worker or someone in CPS and the police to see what alternatives you have.

As the ladies said above. Give those kids your love. They will always remember you for the love and kindness you give them.

[sjs]

I'm so sorry that your grandchildren are being abused I think the case workers may be more involved if your daughter is more proactive in preventing him from abusing them again. Does your daughter not want to report it to the police because she's afraid that he might abuse her too? She should collect any solid evidences, like a photograph of a bruise if there's physical abuse, which I hope there isn't

[Camron]

I think if your daughter thinking in the same way as you than you can file for that and easily get the decision in favor of child abuse may be in this way your SIL will stop all that.Or consult with any lawyer who will guide you according to your state laws.

[BagLady]

Originally Posted by treasures4u1

Hi everyone. I have a situation with my son in law. My daughter is 29 yrs old and my SIL is 31. They have a son age 9(not his), 2 daughters age 2 and 4 (his). He is lazy, self centered, angry, abusive, selfish. He treats my grandson terribly. He treats the girls like they are little angels and never can do wrong. He doesn't work a steady job and I think that my daughter is afraid of him as well. My grandson has ADHD and he gets abused by this man. One time my grandson wanted more milk in his cereal and my SIL got angry with him and threw a metal box at his head. He went to school and told his teacher and she called CPS. They came out and interviewed everyone. When they interviewed me I told them that he had anger issues and they did NOTHING! As the grandmother, It breaks my heart to see my grandson treated this way. I don't know what to do. Someone please help me on what my rights are. I have talked to my SIL and my daughter until I am blue in the face.

Hi, we went thru a similar situation. But, our daughter made it plain to her fiance, that she wasn't going to put up with it. She knows,too, that her dad will deal with him if ness.
I would go over there and find holes in the walls, and things that he had broken. Our GS is also ADHD, and on medication, but he's the sweetest kid you'll meet.
Maybe you could talk to his parents about what he's doing. Someone needs to that he will respect.