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Old September 25th, 2017, 07:51 AM
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Re: Thinking of removing myself from my adult children's lives

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wandarlust View Post
The last two Christmases since I retired - I usually had to work during the holidays when I was employed - I have spent sitting in my apartment, alone. I really don't want to spend Christmases like that.
So, your daughters were used to you working on Christmas. Although you're retired and your pattern has changed, they are still in the pattern that was set before your retirement. Instead of hinting, you might need to address this directly. There is a subconscious assumption of "this is how Christmas is done" that needs a conscious decision to change. Make you decision based on that conversation.

If your family's patterns are set with their ILs, they may have less ability to change it because it causes a ripple effect with everyone else. That doesn't mean you have to be alone. You can contact a church or join a retired group and spend your Christmas with other women who are away from their families, too.
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