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Old September 7th, 2008, 01:15 PM
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Re: Encouraging Parents to Put Final Wishes in Writing

It even happens to an extent when it's done legally. When my D married his third wife (after my SM had died) they both signed a prenuptial agreement. My D was one of those organized people who was on top of everything. He left an iron clad will as well as written instructions, trust agreements, he had pre-paid for his funeral, etc.

Wife #3 still ended up with his IRA despite it being specifically mentioned in his pre-nup and his will that she was to NOT get it... it was to fund a charitable trust. He hadn't updated his beneficiary form when he remarried, and the company which was custodian of the IRA would not release it as per the instructions in (1) his will and (2) the documents he had signed before his marriage. The right forms weren't filed, so D's widow gets the IRA. She even wrote the company a letter explaining the situation and waiving her rights to it, but no go. She's the only one who is allowed to get the money.

Anyway, nonny, I haven't posted anything because I'm not sure what to tell you. Facing up to writing a will is a difficult thing... it's facing your own mortality in black and white, trying to imagine how things are going to be at an unknown point in the future, etc. It goes without saying that it's important, but this is one of those "lead a horse to water" things.

Maybe the best thing to do is spell out on paper what is going to happen (legally) when your M or SF die intestate?
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