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Old September 6th, 2008, 06:55 AM
1dilwhosreal 1dilwhosreal is offline
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Re: Encouraging Parents to Put Final Wishes in Writing

My DM and DSF have everything in writing already. They did it before anyone asked. Then, when DSF's children all died, they changed their wills again and left everything to me. They trust that I'll do the right thing, and I have a list of who gets what. It's easier than changing the will over and over again.

But the difference here is that my DM and DSF already did this together. What you are really looking at is a marital dispute. Your DM doesn't trust her DH to do the right thing by her. And she won't communicate that with him. At this point, you have a few options but no control.

Encourage your DM to talk to her DH. There is never a good time to talk about death and wills. Encourage her to see a lawyer to determine her rights-- it may be that she will inherit that property regardless of what he says, so there's no need to do anything.

Take a few hours with your DM and a journal and a camera, take a pic of the little things, write down the stories that go with them, and ask her who'd she like to have them. Even if those things disappear, the real value-- the stories-- will be preserved.

I'm sorry that your DM has to face this insecurity at this point in her life.
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