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Old June 26th, 2019, 11:01 AM
Mr Eko Mr Eko is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 17
Mr Eko is on a distinguished road
Re: Am I a monster for hating my mother?

Thank you so much for the replies. I need to get into therapy because of this. It has done a number on me mentally. My mother is a toxic person. Everyone else is so blindly loyal to her, that they just can't see how awful she is, and how she will end up burning one of them eventually. I don't see ever forgiving her for anything. I have tried to, but as of now, I have not been able to bring myself to forgive her. I did have one relative say to me recently that she has been wrong about a lot of things and has made some terrible mistakes, so there is that at least. It was good to hear that there is a limit to her charm. My mother actually phoned a now former friend of mine (in fact, I've posted a few threads about her, LOL) and told her that she did the right thing in ending our friendship and even advised her to go to court and take out a restraining order against me. That had to have been very awkward, seeing as how the two had never even met before.

That's just what kind of person my mother is. Just kicks me while I am down. At the time, I was utterly devastated over the loss of that friend. She meant the world to me and she made up her mind a long time ago to end the friendship, but then waffled back and forth for a year, before finally pulling the plug. Then later said that she had "kept me around" because she "felt sorry" for me. What kind of "friend" does that? Her and my mother are apparently cut from the same cloth. Anyway, I don't miss her as much as I did at first, but at the time, I was just SICK over it and I actually contemplated taking my own life. My mother did NOT even care. Someone alerted her to it and told her that she may act all tough and act like she doesn't care, but had I taken my own life, she would have felt very different seeing me on my back in a box with a carnation on top. Personally, I don't think she would miss me.

I hurt a lot. I manage a smile once in awhile, but that's about it. I need to get into counseling and fast. Honestly, I am in a state of emergency. As it stands now, I just need to get into some type of counseling where someone can stop the bleeding, so to speak.
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