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Old June 4th, 2012, 02:42 PM
JillJ JillJ is offline
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Re: Generation Gap/Lifestyle Gap

Again, thank you for all the comments. I don't know how many people use this forum, but I would love lots of comments, from all different angles of the grandparent/grandchild relationship, especially when it involves conflicts, minor or major. I have a lot to process, I'm doing a lot of soul-searching, this is very important to me.

Again, this probably has a lot more to do with me and my personality, than it does my granddaughter. I'm trying to come to terms with a lot of things. I also have a situation going on with my son's children, but a completely different one......that problem will be another thread (and, as Dr. Phil would say, what's the common denominator here?

I was very close to my youngest daughter, who is now 22, and lives in another state (she doesn't have any children yet of her own). My first two children were raised in a chaotic household, alcoholic father, arguments all the time between him and I. My youngest escaped much of that, her father and I were divorced by the time she was 6 years old.

By the time she was 12, her older siblings were grown and moved out. Her and I lived in a peaceful household. We shared interests. She had great responsibility because I worked, and did great in sharing household chores. She also was a good student in school. She is bright, funny, and sociable (much more than me), and impulsive like I am (she became used to "pack a bag, we're going on a roadtrip" as a wake-up call on a Saturday morning).

I shared my world with her, and expanded it with her. We hopped on a plane and went to New York for the first time, figuring out between the two of us on how to use the subway.

As adults, we love each other, but do better living in separate abodes. She no longer needs a full-time mother, and we both enjoy our freedom.

I wish I could have that same type of relationship with my granddaughter, and that's the crux of the matter. She's not of the same mold. I can't spark her interest in anything other than swimming (thank goodness for swimming!). No other sports. Not history. Not museums. Not travels (she's the poster child for Are We There Yet). Nothing seems to excite her imagination. She wears me out, she wears me down, and I worry when it shows because I don't want to be grouchy with her......she certainly does not need that.

We listen to her type of music in the car (I have fun with Katy Perry and Keisha or however you spell it). I dance to the music to try and get her to laugh. I go to the movies she wants to see, as long as they are not rated R. I play knock-knock jokes with her (she has some good ones).

But I always feel a bit strained, I'm afraid to say (that's why I'm saying it on this forum). We go on short hikes (sometimes fun, but sometimes even cut shorter because she doesn't like to walk). We've done nature programs together, and I know she's absorbed some of that (but did she like it? I can never tell).

This post is getting too long, I'll submit another one that also explains a few other things that are eating away at me.

Last edited by JillJ; June 4th, 2012 at 03:15 PM.
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