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Old October 21st, 2009, 08:01 AM
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Cremebrulee Cremebrulee is offline
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Re: New Thread for Seeking Sensibility

[quote=LucyVanPelt;31023]I don't usually get into these threads because I have nothing to add. However, I've made 2 observations over time:

Quote:
1) Once someone is labeled, the odds of a good resolution fall dramatically. Now one no longer has to be responsible for their own behavior because the other person is evil, meanspirited, or broken beyond repair.
I haven't in my own mind Labeled her...and as I stated, I'm not free of my own misgivings and contributions to this...is she mean, evil, I don't know, but would love to sit down with her and see if she's willing to disguss...after 13 years, do you really think she'd be willing? Beyond Broken? I don't believe she is...and as well as you may see in your own thoughts what I'm writing, it isn't always what the reader is seeing, depending on their own experiences...feelings, etc.

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2) Although some insist they are not interfering, they voice very strong opinions about matters that are NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS, such as how the other person was raised, what a person does in their own home, what their personal beliefs are, how they raise their children, how they arrange finances and marital responsibilities, and so on. Chances are, if you were minding your own business, you wouldn't know enough about these things to make judgment, and then label the other person, leading right back to the first point.
Perhaps you are right...come back and tell me that once your children are married and perhaps not doing as well as you'd like them to be doing....it's human nature to want the best for your children...and perhaps I'm wrong, but when you see your child allowing himself to be a victim, it really gets to you...while, yes, indeed, it is none of my business...

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It's a vicious cycle and all parties should just stop. Mind your own business, stop labeling, and own your contribution to the bad relationship.
I would like to do just that, and perhaps someday, we will be able to talk

it's so much easier to advise when your not personally/emotionally involved...you can see things the other person cannot see...
and you give sound advise...

it's like a go round...when your constantly rejected and that person who is doing the rejecting won't sit down and talk with you, that's making a pretty clear statement...

If I did or said something that upset/offended you, wouldn't you discuss it with me, rather then shut everything down?

I don't know, perhaps your right....all the way around...it's just so hard when someone rejects you and causes family problems and won't tell you what you did to start this in the first place.