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Old July 4th, 2018, 09:21 AM
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Re: grandson not eating well

Originally Posted by rattlesnake View Post
I came upon this thread which is a few years old and though I will add to it with the current issue.

My grandkids are going through battles with their step-mother about what they eat and it does become a power struggle sometimes. The food is not the only struggle, I'm sure, but I think it is a biggie.

My GD has been grounded long term just recently because she not only would not eat what step-mom fixed for her, but got sassy and very disrespectful about it, having a tyrade, I suppose (I wasn't there but I'm not going to exactly defend GD's behavior since I know they can act out). She is 8 years old BTW.

These kids, quite frankly, eat better and are less picky than a lot of kids IMO. I went to their summer rec program and witnessed them having lunch there. The kids were all served cooked broccoli with lunch. Most went in the garbage but I watched two little darlings eat every bit of theirs. I was proud of them. They ate the rest of their meal too. Even so, in this case, I think the bigger issue was probably her disrespect and acting out with her step-mother. I just don't think long term grounding of an 8 year old is the answer. I personally think it would be more effective to stand her in a corner for 1/2 hour and then when she was done sobbing and thinking about everything, maybe she'd come and discuss how to avoid such a scene the next time.
Step-parenting is fraught with complications. I hope your grand-kid's step-mother can be reasoned with and sensitive about her special position, and maybe she needs coaching to choose her battles with the kids wisely. It would be the kid's father's place to discuss that with her privately and come to a consensus. My understanding is that it's best for the parent to handle the discipline, though kids are going to push boundaries and such. If the child was very sassy and disrespectful, then some discipline is necessary. Hopefully, moving forward stepmother will prep food that is not going to be a major battle, and have a decent toolbox of techniques prepared on how to deal with any resistance from the kid(s), it may not be about the food at all but about the relationships, emotions, control, lack of it, etc.

Maybe Step-mother can offer an olive branch in some way and get child to come grocery shopping with her and Dad and pick some of their favorite foods to cook and prepare together.
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