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Old February 7th, 2013, 01:14 PM
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Knot2loud Knot2loud is offline
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Re: 23 Yr old at home, no job - tough love

I'm happy I never had that problem with my girls. Neither one of them was ever lazy. One married a bum who couldn't hold down a job because of whatever excuse he had. That marriage ended...

Here's my take...

If an adult child lives in "your" home then that child has to follow the rules of the house - the rules the parents have set. Adult children SHOULD pay and do their fair share. If the adult child is paying and feels they should not participate in household chores - they have it all wrong! They are paying for rent - not maid service. If they cannot or will not abide by the rules of the house then they do not need to continue living in that home. In other words... evict the adult child.

Set dates! "You need to have a job by (date)?"

The problem with these adult children is they want to live life, have fun, do what they want and do it all without consequences. When a parent allows that behavior to contiinue then they are getting what they deserve.

Just like the OP of this thread... has a bum for a son and all the dad can do is get frustrated and angry. I'm guessing the mother was protecting the son which also frustrated the dad and caused a lot of anger issues. Thus creating a balloon effect. If that kid is still living at home with no job... Ugh... I don't even want to think about the repercussions of that dilemma.

Parents need to be on the same page and support each other when dealing with an adult child living at home. Especially one who lacks motivation. You'd be surprised how thrifty someone can become when they start going hungry.

What do they call that... Tough love?
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