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Old November 28th, 2014, 10:13 PM
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Re: Grandparents enabling adult child

bobkyle, I don't even know you and I'm fighting back tears of pride in your post.

You are an amazing "kid" (hate to tell you, but you're more of an adult than your uncle ever will be) and I am proud of both you and your parents who did such a great job raising you. Congratulations!

There are two pieces of good news in this story. (1) Your uncle is not and never will be your responsibility and (2) you are learning firsthand what you DON'T want to be and that will inspire you to succeed in whatever you choose to do.

There is nothing you can do about your uncle. The sad part is that your grandparents have a right to enable him and they are exercising that right. The only thing that is in your power is to behave how *you* think is right. Lead by example. (And tell them he can't take your car for whatever reason you can come up with, even if you have to fake going to the library for an important research paper.) Offer to do the dishes and help with laundry and tell your grandparents within earshot of your uncle how grateful you are to them for everything they do for you.

Maybe your uncle is going through some kind of depression or something. A little bit of kindness goes a long way. But kindness is not the same thing as enabling.

So do you have plans for next year already? Something tells me that you're one to watch.
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