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Old September 17th, 2018, 07:34 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Here we go again with the step mother to be

Originally Posted by rattlesnake View Post
So why would he embarrass himself by signing it?
Because his new wife wants to exert her power and he wants her off his back. I'm not sure why he would be embarrassed to sign it?

When my DH and I were newlyweds, his mom did something really boundary-stomping (although nothing egregious like what your DIL is doing) to us, but really more to me. My DH wasn't nearly as offended as I was, but he called his mom and told her that she shouldn't have done that and knock it off. It was more to show loyalty to me - the whole "leave and cleave" thing - than anything. But it was good for our marriage for him to stand up for me.

The way I see this, rattlesnake, is that it's not really about you. It's hard not to take it personally, but I don't think the DIL has a problem with "you" per se. I think the problem she has is that your DS has, in her opinion, relied too heavily on you to bail him out and raise his kids. I think she thinks that as a father your DS has been somewhat, hmmm, what word do I want? Lazy? Irresponsible? She wants him to stop shirking his duty and she sees you not as a bad person, but as an enabler. I think in her mind, she wants to cut that cord between you and your DS that causes him to be so dependent on you.

I could be wrong. This is just my opinion and my take on it.

Please know that I don't mean any of this to be ugly towards you. I know you are a fine person who is doing the right thing by your son and grandkids. I just think your DIL thinks that this is her family now and is trying to claim her position as stepmom. She feels for some bizarre reason that she needs to push you out of the chain of command.
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