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Old January 1st, 2015, 05:53 AM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Did I make a mistake

Yes, you made a mistake.

Maybe the new lady understands the concept of "if they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you." If you leave your wife to be with her, and you are regardless of what you say, then what would stop you from leaving her to be with another woman you fall in love with at work?

You are still married, trying to bond with your daughter. Look in your own home for the two ladies you are supposed to be with. See a family counselor and/or marriage counselor to resolve your problems instead of running away from them.

And schedule that appointment for a depression evaluation with your doctor before you totally lose all the best things in your life. The emotional affair that you've begun may be "self-medicating."

ETA: I'm trying to be gentle because I know that adding a second baby to a family is a very difficult time for both the husband and the wife. I want to give you a dose of reality.

I suspect you feel like your needs-- emotional, social, and sexual-- are not being met. They aren't a priority for your wife. You're competing with children for her limited resources and you're at the bottom of the list. This is a painful spot to be in as a man. You have needs.

Looking to fill those needs elsewhere is a dumb fantasy. That 12-year-younger single mother looks good because she can give you her full attention at work while the baby is being cared for elsewhere. The reality is that she won't be as good in bed as your wife is. Maybe more exciting in the beginning, but the sex will be still lacking. You'll be competing with HER baby for her attention, a child that isn't yours, who has a father somewhere in the background. Your emotional and social needs will still go unmet. She will be a b and look a mess in the mornings, too.

Meanwhile, you'll have lost your home, your wife, your family will be mad at you, and your children will always feel abandoned by you, regardless of how hard you fight their mother for them. They'll be shuffled back and forth between 2 houses, never being able to celebrate a holiday or special event with both parents. Meanwhile, every woman you get involved with will complain about how child support is a drain and nag you because she and her children with another man are not your priority. And your children will always have this psychological wound that says their father rejected them because why? He felt his needs were more important than theirs, even though he's the adult man and they were just tiny children.

Deal with your issues at home. Save your marriage, save your children, save your life. When you and your wife are celebrating your Silver Anniversary, you'll look back and be grateful you didn't leave when things got rough.

Last edited by LucyVanPelt; January 1st, 2015 at 09:06 AM.
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