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Re: Is it me or is this a red flag?
If he is serious about a relationship with you that means sharing expenses on housing, etc HE SHOULD REVEAL WHAT IS GOING ON WITH SON.
That's my take. You should not have any doubts/questions/concerns.
Its a BIG RED FLAG. He should tell you everything before you get really really involved and you get stuck in a huge mess.
Parents help their adult children here and there. When there is a significant other that may be affected - they should know full well what is going on and any ramifications if things go awry.
Best of luck to you.
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...land of the free. kind of...maybe...not so much.
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