[StephanieB]

I am new to this group but am seeking some sound advice from anyone.

My husband and I just got married in April. My brother and his wife just got married in August. We were both not present at each other’s wedding. Back a year ago my brother got engaged to his now wife, she is around 25 he is 31.My now husband proposed to me 10 days after. Not getting into many details to keep the post short- they both flipped out- cried.. blamed us for copying them- but we didn’t. I am 34 and my husband is 30. This whole ordeal spiraled down into a lot of necessary drama from my brother and his now wife and my parents got involved. My husband (then fiancé) and I wanted to resolve this early not to have drama- but they couldn’t be in the same room as us. Later on- emails and texts were written to us stating awful things on how much they hated us and never liked us and how they will be happy in their lives without us and my family.

Fast forward: things have not been resolved. My parents got involved because his now wife criticized my mother and was disrespectful to her many of times. With the holidays approaching I do not know what to do. We live in Texas, my brother lives in another state and my parents and family are in New York. I have been trying to get Christmas sorted out with my parents for over a month and no one can give me answers on what they are doing. I do not want to spend it with my brother and his rude wife. Just tonight- I found out he is going home the same time I planned and my parents haven’t say anything about it.

I don’t want to spend my holiday miserable in an uncomfortable situation with my brother and his wife- but i want to spend it with my family. My husband doesn’t want to go and waste money as he knows this is going to be an issue. I honestly am at a loss on what to do. I am usually the glue that keeps the family together- doing all that I can. I’m the person who cares the most and gives the most. But with this- I feel I have nothing to give.

Please help.
(If any of this is too vague- I am happy to give more details as I am leaving out a lot)

Thank you!
Stephanie