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Old December 26th, 2017, 04:43 AM
rattlesnake rattlesnake is offline
Join Date: Dec 2017
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Re: Overindulged the grandkids.

Originally Posted by KayKay View Post

I am sorry for your pain. My heart breaks for you. But honestly, I have been where your son is.

Thanks for your response. I do appreciate hearing your perspective and it makes sense. Believe me, I got the message loud and clear that next year I will get them only 1 gift. But there are parts of this situation that I highly suspect are different than your situation. Nobody else (other than me) was given this "rule" but admittedly, I suppose most got them only one thing anyway. The one thing my oldest DD got them probably cost 3 times what was in "the box" for each of the kids; I'm not sure if that should make any difference but thought I'd mention it.

Now even after writing what I wrote yesterday, my DD and her boyfriend were over at DS's house and her boyfriend mentioned he saw hardly anything there for the kids to play with. I knew that already but had not mentioned it nor expected someone else, an outsider, really, to notice this and comment on it.

Actually I was "allowed" to get them clothing gifts other than the "1 toy." I got them quite a few clothes because once again, I knew they NEEDED the clothes, and neither the mother nor the father seem to have any budget for clothes for the kids. I will say that DS's girlfriend does buy the kids clothes so the lack of clothes that fit is not as big of a problem as it used to be. Before the gf moved here though, last year I subbed at the kids' school and my granddaughter was squeezed into a pair of very short shorts that looked more like underpants, and the snap would not close at the waist so it was unsnapped. A staff member took her to the office where they keep a stock of elastic waist shorts, etc. for kids who don't come dressed appropriately. She was in 1st grade at the time.

It was my xDIL who sent her to school like that, but DS without the help of his new girl friend, would NOT have done any better. Part of my point is that these kids are not really overindulged but of course that is just one person's opinion (mine).

I will handle it next year by giving only 1 toy because it was my grandkids that got hurt this time and he was willing to hurt his own kids in order to "show" me who is in charge.

He posted on Facebook (before Christmas) that he told the 7 year old we were not going to Grandma's house because Grandma got run over by a reindeer. She bawled hysterically and he thought that was very funny. His girlfriend thought it was funny too. I don't think it is ever funny to make children cry. That is not how I attempted to raise my son but his father (my x) is that way. As I said in the previous post, I cannot really blame my xDIL for not being happy with DS even though she has her own set of issues and problems too. Again, thanks for sharing your perspective. I do invite perspectives. It is just that I don't want to be lambasted, (and you were polite and respectful which I appreciate). What is done is done and yes I learned my lesson and it won't happen again.
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