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Old February 12th, 2015, 09:50 PM
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Kayleesmom Kayleesmom is offline
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Re: Cut ties with sisters but they won't give up

Thank you everyone for the advice. First let me clarify that the niece I was referring to is like my sister. We are separated in age by 19 days. Her mother passed in 1996. We have always been close. I reached out to her and she finally understands how I feel. She was the one that called my sisters and told them the condition I was in and tried to get them to come that night. I wasn't trying to involve her but I couldn't speak for myself due to my nerves. I was a basket case. She was trying to help me and my emotional health. She tried to help all concerned and was there for moral support only.

I have been praying a lot. God has been helping me find my way. I know that God wants me to forgive them for my sake. I was doing much better until one of my sisters showed up unannounced at my house to give me a letter and a devotional book. The letter was same garbage as before. They didn't know why I was so upset, wanted to be there for me and really wanted to try to fix things. Two days later, the other sister texted me to let me know that another niece was at the hospital delivering her baby. I texted them both back and asked for more time. I knew they wouldn't stop.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was jealous of their sister relationship too. I decided I really wanted that. That is really all i ever wanted. I put myself out one more time. I needed this to be fixed or ended one way or the other.

They tried to make excuses not to come and I basically backed them in a corner and they said they would come. I knew I couldn't do it by myself I asked my niece to come for moral support but she couldn't get here until a little after 5. Sisters showed up about 4:40 The sisters thought it was just going to be me and them. They were very surprised to see my husband when they got here. Both of my daughters wanted to hear the conversation so i put them on speaker phone. Since they basically gave me a time limit (they both had other places to be). I got right to the point. After I started they both became very defensive. They came here ready to defend themselves. I was trying my best to be honest and heartfelt and then they started the bullying. I really wasn't looking for a fight I wanted a real heart to heart. I couldn't get a word in and I looked at my husband. Thinking to myself, read my mind, now do you understand why they make it so hard. He interjected and said I really think y'all need to let her finish talking. One started raising her voice and my husband lost it and begin to raise his. He was so angry that he slapped the table and they acted as if he was gonna hurt them or something. I saw a very clear case of PTSD in both of them as they bolted from my home. They have been hiding from the truth all these years. It's like they live in a fantasy world and make up happy stories just to deal with the pain. They've never dealt with their own issues. Which is really sad.

As they were leaving my house, the niece that is supporting me pulled into the drive way. They started yelling at her that they were mad at her now. My niece never said a word! She hasn't said anything other than I needed time to try and figure out something's.

I know I was a sucker and allowed it to happen. The only good that came from it is that my husband and daughters heard the exchange. I know I should have left my girls out of it but they insisted and wanted to hear for themselves. They are 22 and 24 and they have seen how much I am hurting. My youngest muted the phone so that they could hear but not be heard on my phone. I'm glad that she did that because my oldest was trying to interrupt but no one could hear her. I did not do it to sway my kids at all. They have felt the same way all these years because they were basically treated the same by them.

I really needed to do this so that I could move on and put things in the past.for good. Maybe now they will leave me alone and let it all go also. I know that I have done what God wants me to do by forgiving them and trying to fix it. I don't know of anything else I can do.

I'm going to my doctor soon about the anxiety and depression. It keeps getting worse. I hate drugs because of my mom and it kills to to have to take Xanax. I honestly can't control the shakes. I'm constantly sick to my stomach and I force myself to eat. Yes, I have had bad thoughts but I know what I went through with my mom and will never do that to my kids or my husband. I need some relief somewhere. I'm glad I didn't get the addiction genes but really, I can't stop these shakes. They control my life.

Thank you all for your responses. They meant a lot and I know I let my guard down. I just get so tired of all the chaos. I'm willing to let go for good now. I hope they are too!
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