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Old September 6th, 2010, 01:03 PM
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LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
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Re: Need help: My relationship with my parents

Quote:
It appears as though my relationship with them is permanently damaged simply because I haven't caved to what they want me to do. I'm an oldest child--I've generally done what my parents want or I've consulted them on many decisions I've had to make in my life, so this is a change in the dynamics of our relationship.
If your relationship with your parents is permanently damaged, then they are the ones who are damaging it. At 27 years old, you don't need your parents permission to date, to go on vacation, to associate with the rest of your family, or to celebrate holidays. They are having a difficult time accepting that you an adult woman whose decisions do not reflect on them at all. In short, they are having a hard time letting you go and they are using whatever means at their disposal to keep you bound to them. This is almost the most difficult thing with the first child and/or the last child.

But... even though you don't need their permission, you would like their acceptance and even approval. It's hurtful to experience that rejection and I'm sorry they are doing this to you. Stick to your guns. Continue to be as independent of them as possible, including communicating with your family on your own (but without discussing the relationship with your parents). Let them know that you love them, but you have to keep doing what you do.

(((hugs)))
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