Friends and Family Forum

Friends and Family Forum (
-   All Grown Up (
-   -   Wedding Traditions (

rattlesnake January 13th, 2018 05:44 AM

Wedding Traditions
I love weddings and try to think of them with optimism even in a world where I've been through a divorce myself and I fully expect that half of all marriages will fail.

My DS is getting married April 1, and this will be his second marriage, his bride's 1st.

So I have been "mother of the groom" before and have been mother of the bride and step-mother of the bride in several weddings.

I don't think many of the old traditions are really followed but I read about them anyway, because it is fun, I guess.

Well, I just read a couple of advice articles on "The Knot" regarding the mother of the groom dress and the mother of the bride dress. The article for the mother of the groom says to shop at least 6 months before the wedding! Well, the engagement announcement did not allow time for that. It also suggested that you should take your cue from the mother of the Bride, what she is wearing, and not to outdo her, etc.

So then I went to find a similar article for the mother of the bride and it said she should pick her dress at least a month before! Maybe they should have the same "expert" writing both articles! I wonder if that was a typo because I would think most mothers of the brides in even slightly elaborate occasions would want to get the dress more than a month in advance, especially if they planned for the mother of the groom to take her cue from that.

I just want to get something nice I will feel comfortable in but I do want to talk to the mother of the bride first. I've met her father, but not her mother. They are divorced. If she is wearing a shorter dress, I certainly don't want a long, more formal one, for example.

It reminds me of 5 years ago when my middle DD got married. Being the mother of the bride, I called the mother of the groom to talk about dresses. She was just totally NOT into it! She was not rude or anything, but was not interested in talking about it, said she'd get a dress a couple of weeks before.

This was her only son (only child, I should say) so I thought she'd be more interested. I have 3 grown children and three step children and so it is not like I have not already had experience with this stuff. Oh, well, just commenting on the differences in experiences and expectations. Anybody out there want to share experiences about their adult children's weddings?

KayKay January 13th, 2018 09:12 AM

Re: Wedding Traditions
I have so much to learn. LOL. I have so little experience with weddings - my DH and I eloped - but I worry that I'm going to be like your middle DD's MIL. :o Not that I don't care, but I just haven't ever been caught up in one. I was a bridesmaid in several weddings in my younger years, but I definitely had to take the cues from other bridesmaids and probably wasn't a really good one. I hope I don't mess up if my kids ever get married!

How big and elaborate is this wedding going to be, rattlesnake? It's in only three months? Wow. I'd be so overwhelmed!

LucyVanPelt January 13th, 2018 04:30 PM

Re: Wedding Traditions
I don't have any married children. I have one older child who has had a girlfriend for a long time and maybe???

As the mother of the groom, my plan is to find out the style wedding (formal, informal, etc), ask my FDIL what length/style dress I should wear, and then find that in a nice blend-in-beige. :D

KayKay January 13th, 2018 06:14 PM

Re: Wedding Traditions
Haha! I forgot about that saying! :rofl: Here's hoping any potential FDIL I have allows light pink or blue... I look terrible in beige!

rattlesnake January 13th, 2018 07:14 PM

Re: Wedding Traditions

How big and elaborate is this wedding going to be, rattlesnake? It's in only three months? Wow. I'd be so overwhelmed!
I don't think it is going to be "big and elaborate" compared to some we hear about. She did show me a picture of her gown, which she bought BEFORE he proposed, lol. (I guess she was ready to say yes).

I only know bits and pieces of the plans but my grandchildren will be IN the wedding. I can't wait to see them all dolled up for this. This will be 10 hours away in a different state (her home town) and so only immediate family and a couple of his close friends will be attending from my side, which I think is okay especially since this is his second marriage, 3rd if you count that he married his first wife twice, the first time was two WEEKS before their first child was born and that was done by a JP with only immediate family, with a small party at my house afterward. The second time they got married a year later though they were already married legally, with a traditional ceremony. As I have mentioned elsewhere, I felt more like a mother to her than a MIL and did help plan (and pay for) that traditional wedding.

So this time, no I'm not feeling overwhelmed because the bride-to-be is 30 years old, knows what she wants and seems to be a very organized person (unlike DS and unlike his ex). Too early to tell because I'm sure there will be some surprises (not necessarily positive ones) but right now I'm seeing this as good and mostly all I have to do is fun stuff like pick out a mother of the groom dress and make travel plans for that weekend. Stay tuned for possible future venting and possible feelings of being overwhelmed!

KayKay January 13th, 2018 09:34 PM

Re: Wedding Traditions
How exciting! I can't wait to live vicariously through you! :D

I'm also thinking how wonderful it is that you have such a close relationship with your grandchildren. I know it will be a huge relief to your son and XDIL to have you there in case they need help with the kids.

rattlesnake January 30th, 2018 01:09 PM

Re: Wedding Traditions
Time for an update! We made our reservations for the hotel for the trip. Once again, my husband and I are called upon to help with the grandkids and I love every chance I get with them. They are riding for the 11 hour trip to the state where the wedding will be, with us. And they will be coming home with us as well. :)

I talked to the bride's mother on the phone and she seems very pleasant. I do believe I have decided what I'm wearing. It will be a street length royal blue dress with a black belt and a black sheer shrug. I think the bride's mother is wearing a black dress but she was not 100% sure about what she was wearing; hopefully it will coordinate well enough.

LucyVanPelt January 30th, 2018 02:50 PM

Re: Wedding Traditions
The dress sounds pretty!

rattlesnake March 30th, 2018 02:22 PM

Re: Wedding Traditions
The weekend has arrived! Sunday is Easter so Happy Easter to all, but it is also the day my DS is getting married! I'm here at our hotel right now with my DH and my GS. My GD is with the ladies and they are getting manicures, or something.

I'll update more later and will share pictures by PM if anybody wishes to see, let me know.

KayKay March 30th, 2018 05:13 PM

Re: Wedding Traditions
Best of luck!

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:02 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2007, The BlueSparks Network