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-   -   Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race. (http://www.friendsandfamilyforum.com/showthread.php?t=8394)

mrfrank82 May 22nd, 2018 05:06 PM

Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
My wifeís mother keeps saying mean things about men and women from USA. Basically, she dislikes americans because of what she sees in the media about our racism issues and attitudes during distressing times. I try to convince her that every country has problems like that with locals and people in all shapes and sizes but she just wonít listen. She believes that all americans are gun-loving and racist freaks that do nothing but spread war and hatred. How can I convince her otherwise? Iíd love to have a great relationship with her but I donít see that happening.

LucyVanPelt May 22nd, 2018 05:54 PM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mrfrank82 (Post 86040)
How can I convince her otherwise?

You cannot.

Does your relationship really depend on her opinion of Americans?

snafu May 22nd, 2018 06:40 PM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
oh the irony - she won't see that she's guilty of discrimination herself


what does your wife say?

how often do you HAVE to see your MIL?

mrfrank82 May 22nd, 2018 08:05 PM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyVanPelt (Post 86041)
You cannot.

Does your relationship really depend on her opinion of Americans?

It does not but it HEAVILY affects it...

mrfrank82 May 22nd, 2018 08:07 PM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by snafu (Post 86042)
oh the irony - she won't see that she's guilty of discrimination herself


what does your wife say?

how often do you HAVE to see your MIL?

My wife just wants me to ignore her mom since she's quite old. We see her all the time, unfortunately...

snafu May 23rd, 2018 04:15 AM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
I don't know the cultural background

IMO your MILs vitrol could damage your marriage....get counciling before that happens

lilly210 October 22nd, 2018 10:51 PM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mrfrank82 (Post 86040)
My wifeís mother keeps saying mean things about men and women from USA. Basically, she dislikes americans because of what she sees in the media about our racism issues and attitudes during distressing times. I try to convince her that every country has problems like that with locals and people in all shapes and sizes but she just wonít listen. She believes that all americans are gun-loving and racist freaks that do nothing but spread war and hatred. How can I convince her otherwise? Iíd love to have a great relationship with her but I donít see that happening.

sorry you're doing through this. I doubt you can convince her otherwise. It's difficult to change the minds of others if they're already set in there ways. I can tell you that my husband is of a different ethincity. It was difficult for my Mom is accept him in the beginning. She had some bad encounters with people in his ethnicity before and that was her experience. I know it doesn't mean everyone is that way.
I married my husband for man that he is. Over a period of time, he was able to prove her wrong. She didn't believe in him and didn't think highly of him either. Because he stayed being who he is and helping out and maked effort in his relationship with her. She changed her thoughts about him.
I never told him about what she thought of him and know it wouldn't serve the relationship.
It's hard and I totally understand. I would recommend if you want to give it a shot is to just remember they only know what they know. Eventually without any expectation you might win her over in your own way. Or you might not. But least you can walk away from the situation knowing that you tried and did your best because you're not ignorant.

Wish you the best!

chissus October 23rd, 2018 12:21 PM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mrfrank82 (Post 86040)
My wifeís mother keeps saying mean things about men and women from USA. Basically, she dislikes americans because of what she sees in the media about our racism issues and attitudes during distressing times. I try to convince her that every country has problems like that with locals and people in all shapes and sizes but she just wonít listen. She believes that all americans are gun-loving and racist freaks that do nothing but spread war and hatred. How can I convince her otherwise? Iíd love to have a great relationship with her but I donít see that happening.

Annoy her with kindness and respect.

KayKay October 23rd, 2018 04:23 PM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by chissus (Post 86506)
Annoy her with kindness and respect.

I wish kindness and respect had worked on my MIL. :(

snafu November 17th, 2018 02:18 PM

Re: Mother-in-law keeps insulting my race.
 
Didn't work with my PMIL either -


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