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-   -   Problem Sister (http://www.friendsandfamilyforum.com/showthread.php?t=6565)

seema March 2nd, 2014 05:01 AM

Problem Sister
 
My sister is doing her graduation. During schooling she was in a relationship with the son of my father's driver. We make her understand that he is just playing with her emotions, as he knew that my mom and dad both are working and I also reside out of town, so my sister is an easy catch. We make her understand that and she also came to know by herself that he is using her, so she break-up with him.

Now, she met some random guy on facebook, and saying she is in relationship with him. She is in contact with him through chats, phone and messages. Even she has shared some compromised snaps of her [That I find out on checking her mails].

I can't understand what to do? What she want from her life?

For my parents sake, because of first incident I am living at her in another city, sacrificing my career. Started motivating, trusting and being totally normal with her so that she don't felt hurt or rejected from the family. But now her actions are totally disturbing me and I can't tell my parents about it.

snafu March 2nd, 2014 06:40 AM

Re: Problem Sister
 
How old is your sister?

KayKay March 2nd, 2014 12:57 PM

Re: Problem Sister
 
Why can't you tell your parents about it? Your sister is not your responsibility. She is theirs. And why are you checking her emails? If she isn't an adult, isn't that your parents' responsibility?

If your sister was ill or had some reason where she was unable to care for herself, it would be kind of you to sacrifice your career to step in and help her. As far as I can tell, your sister has no reason that she can't be responsible for her own actions and decisions. I think you will end up unhappy and resenting her in the long run if you continue to sacrifice yourself for her bad decisions and choices. At some point, you will have a spouse and children of your own who will need to take precedence over her.

Just my opinion.

Mrs X March 3rd, 2014 12:14 AM

Re: Problem Sister
 
Hi Seema, Are you an older brother looking after a younger sister, who is now doing post-graduate study in a different place? - I've seen this happen with families from the middle east. In this culture, maybe it is thought that an adult woman cannot adequately look after herself if she is unmarried. - Indeed most western and Asian people will assume that the brother in this situation is probably an unreliable teenager, and that the sister is saddled with looking after him. (!)

Because your situation is so alien to what we understand of family relationships, this is probably not your best forum to come to for advice, you aren't going to like any of it.


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